Making and Breaking
by OriginDiscord
Summary: For ten long years, Shizuo lived his life in despair, keeping his sanity by believing in a lie. For ten long years, his best friend, who was younger then him, was gone; kidnapped. And it was all his fault. But one day, this all changes, and he gets a second chance to redeem himself. AU. Shizaya
1. Chapter 1

I got this story idea originally from Criminal Minds, mostly just the kidnapping theme, and as it progressed, I added some elements in from different places. There is a lot of violence in this, as Izaya must re-live the ten years he was kidnapped for. Hope you guys enjoy! ^ ^

The warm wind swept through Shizuo's shimmering chocolate-brown hair, as leaves of all colors slowly drizzled through the air. The sun was setting, casting a sweet, orange and red glow that seemed to kiss his tan skin as he walked through the park. Despite this magnificent scene, the brunette couldn't help but feel a urgent sense of adrenaline coursing through his rather tall sixteen year-old body.

Something was wrong. He was worried, but didn't know why. He knew he hadn't forgotten anything, it didn't feel like that. It was something more personal, it had to be something that meant a lot to him, as his heart was pounding, nearly bursting.

Was this some kind of memory? He did recognize the park, but the reasons for being there at such a time escaped him. He only had two friends in High School, and even then, hardly even hung out with them. So why was he in this park in the first place?

A small whimper drew him out of his thoughts, and before he could even register what was happening, his body turned.

It was that raven hair.

It was that thin figure.

It was that boy he could hardly remember. Ever since he could recall, he's been having dreams about this boy, no older then eight with silky, raven-black hair, body so thin he could pass as a model, and eyes faded-rusty-red. Whenever he looked up at Shizuo, his face would blur, blocking any other memories from reaching the burnett; it was so dammed frustrating! He was always in pain, some sort of agony, and that killed Shizuo. There was this deep connection he could feel between him and the boy, yet he couldn't recall his face.

DAMMITTT!

"Shi-Shizu-chan," the raven mumbled with a faint smile, stumbling towards him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." he repeated over and over again. Shizuo wasted no time and rushed over to his side, catching the falling boy in his strong-arms. It was instinct really, he couldn't control what he was doing; it had to be a memory. But this was weird, why would he reach out for someone so they wouldn't fall? Usually he wouldn't care unless their life depended on it.

"What the hell happened?" Shizuo snapped, letting himself gently sit on the ground, pulling the younger boy comfortably in his lap. He wasn't even bothered when the small boy leaned against his chest, as his body was too limb to support itself. It was always like that in his dreams, and the small boy was always trembling.

The trembling is what really got to him, as it yanked at his heart and other feelings in his chest he didn't even know he had. In all honesty, he didn't know if it was a good or bad thing, but he liked it. For once, he could feel a deep connection to someone, something he's never had before.

"Shiii, Shiii-zu, chan..."the boy shivered more, weakly grasping onto the brunet's hoodie. It sent a wave of worry through him and another emotion he didn't understand. What was it, embarrassment?

No, it was more like adoration, but he rarely felt that way towards anyone. But what could it be?

Whatever it was, it hurt; it hurt seeing the small boy like this. All the other dreams were bearable, but there was just something about this one that made him want to rip his throat out.

"What is it..." the name was muffled, making the brute curse to himself. He was never able to hear what the name was; ever. It was so freakin annoying, Shizuo wanted to punch a wall-in.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," the raven repeated, digging his head harder against his shoulder. It only made Shizuo grasp him firmer, resting his chin in that silky hair. "Please... help me."

What? Had the burnett heard him correctly? Did the raven actually ask him, Shizuo Heiwajima, for help? This really was a dream.

"Help me, Shizu-chan, I'm scared. H-he's everywhere!" The small boy's grip tightened, but for some reason, it felt as if he was losing the small boy. His body was getting heavier and heavier, which said a lot coming from the monster, the brute of Ikebukuro. He could lift cars, stops signs, just about anything on the streets, yet a mere boy was heavier then he could manage.

"Shi-Shizu-chan, please, please don't let me go, PLEASE!" The small boy begged, nearly bringing tears to Shizuo's eyes. It hurt, it hurt like his chest being slowly cut open, allowing his guts to flow freely. "He's not what you think, trust me!" The boy continued to cry. "H-he scares me..."

Shizuo wanted to hold him against his chest once more, telling him everything would be alright; but he did no such thing. His other self just remained hugging him, burying his face into the mop of hair. Why wouldn't he listen to the small boy when he seemed this desperate? He was mortified, of course he was gonna take care of him.

But even if he wanted to, it just wasn't possible. The other him just continued to sit there, unable to handle the weight anymore. The small boy shivered violently, gazing up at him through that blurry face.

"Why... why Shizu-chan? D-did I... do something to make you mad? - I-I'm sorry-" was all he could say before his body sunk through the concrete, being ripped from the blonde's arms.

"NOOO!" Shizuo screamed, pounding against the concrete in attempt to reopen the hole that had once been, but to no avail. It was just concrete now. "..., I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" He cried, the name being muffled out again. Shizuo hardly noticed, as he stared at the concrete with absent eyes.

This couldn't be happening.

This couldn't be happening.

"He's mine, now~"

"No!" Shizuo screeched as he shot up, nearly falling off the side of the bed. He was panting, clenching his sheets so tightly he could feel his nails digging in his palms. It was morning, the sun beaming in his eyes which only made him more agitated. At least he hadn't woken up during the night, then he would've really been pissed. But it really didn't make a difference, to him, it felt like he hadn't slept at all.

_'Who is that boy...?' _He couldn't help but wonder, still staring down at his pure-white sheets. He was confused with the fact that he had done nothing to help him! He was obviously a friend, as he held him so close, and was really beginning to wonder if he was more then just a friend.

No, that'd be silly. Though, he could be one of his cousins, or something. Ahh, this was really beginning to hurt his head.

Buzzz-a-rinnggg! His alarm clock blared, snapping him out of his thoughts. At least he hadn't woken up late for work, he would've smashed that thing against the wall, allowing it to join the pile of shattered alarm clocks. Shinra was beginning to wonder if he should just call Shizuo in the mornings to get him up.

With a sigh, he slumped out of bed and headed for his closet. There wasn't much to chose from, and to be frank, all that was left was one bartender suit. Dammit, all the other ones were either ripped or bloodied; he have to be careful with what he did with this one. He did not want to ask his brother to purchase more for him; he wouldn't be able to bear that.

Grabbing it from the hanger, he headed to the shower. Unfortunately, the water was cold, like usual. Tch, he really hated how he was treated by everyone. He was sure if he went down to the manager place, they'd turn the hot water on immediately; but Shizuo wouldn't be able to handle that. He hated seeing how they all cowered in fear when he showed up. He hated all the glowering looks, as if he was some monster that had invaded the city.

These thoughts blended, and somehow resulted in recalling all the dreams he's had about the small boy as he showered. It never bothered him as much as it did now, was it because he had lost the small boy? Because he hadn't trust him?

Maybe, or maybe it was a mixture of everything. Maybe he was unable to help because of some stupid law. There had to be an explanation for what he did! Or rather, what he didn't do. Dammit, he didn't know how much more of this he could take. He just wanted to embrace that small boy and tell him sorry, even if he didn't forgive him; he just wanted to hold him one last time. He could swear he felt a small body against his, yet the warmth was missing.

_'Just who... who are you...?'_ Shizuo's thoughts trembled, leaning against the wall of the shower. His whole body was trembling by now, the thoughts upsetting him more then he realized. He just wanted him, he just wanted peace at mind, to be rid of this unwavering guilt he felt; and he still really didn't know what he did.

_'I'm sorry... I'm sorrry!'_ That's when it hit him, the cruel reality. He didn't know his name. That was killing him more then anything at the moment. This boy meant so much to him, yet, he didn't even remember his name! It could be due to the depression he fell into when the boy disappeared, he'd believe it. It was easier to forget then to suffer.

But it was just wrong...

He leaned back up, staring up at the water as it fell on his face. Usually it washed his dreams away for the day, but it failed this time. Perhaps this was his punishment.

The sound of his phone going off snapped him out of his thoughts, not even reacting to the noise. Which was odd for him. Usually it made him lunge forward, his reflexes on high alert. Yet, he was calm.

Dammit.

With a sigh, the ran his hand through his dyed-blonde hair and stepped out of the shower. He didn't even bother relaxing as he usually did, seeing how that would be impossible. _'Why, why can't I get you out of my mind...?' _He wondered as he picked up his phone.

_'New message from Kasuka,'_ the text read, bringing a smile to his face instantly. His little brother had a chance to text him? This was oddly comforting. But wasn't he filming a movie this month?

He opened the message and let his eyes race against the text, _'Just checking up on you, we're taking a short filming break due to the harsh weather here. If it doesn't let-up within the week, they'll have to post-pone the filming. Hope you're staying out of trouble, I'm sending you some new cloths, because I know you brother.'_

The blonde couldn't help but smirk, clenching the phone slightly. He really loved his brother, it was almost as if he knew just what he needed, but that also made it hard for Shizuo to keep a descent conversation with him. He always feared he's say something stupid and screw things up.

Though, now that he thought about it, the boy in his dreams, with raven hair- No, that couldn't be him. Kasuka never showed emotions, which was okay with him. But, in a lot of ways, it seemed like Shizuo loved this mysterious boy more; more then his brother...

Maybe, if he really was close, his brother may know him. It felt weird to ask him, but it was killing him. Quickly, he let his fingers race against his phone, '_Ah, sorry to hear that, but at least you get a break. I'm trying, I really am. I won't disappoint you, promise! - And thanks, it's always nice to receive it from you... Sorry to ask this, but, it's been bugging me... I've been having these strange dreams, about a skinny-short boy with raven black hair. I can't recall his name, but he looked around eight in my dreams. Do you remember me hanging out with someone like that?'_ Before he could change his mind, he hit 'send'. He felt bad for troubling his brother with this, but he knew if anyone knew about his childhood, Kasuka would; him and Shinra. If Kasuka didn't know, he'd be sure to phone Shinra.

Drying himself off, he quickly changed into his bartender cloths, even though he wasn't a bartender, and forced himself into the kitchen. He wasn't that hungry, but that could be due to the extreme excitement and confusion laid upon him. If the blonde didn't eat now, he knew he'd regret it later.

Throwing some toast in the toaster and eggs on the stove, his phone vibrated again. Without wasting a second, Shizuo scooped it up, only to frown seeing it was from Shinra. Goddamn that pestering doctor, he was in no mood for this. Ahhh, then again, he may know.

_'Wondering if you would like to join me, Celty, and Kadota for lunch today, my treat~.'_

Tch, another high school meeting event. He never actually cared for them, he always got angry at Shinra for bringing the idea up in the first place. That bumbling doctor just loved him, truly adored him, it was intensely creepy. That doctor loved everyone, wanted to see what 'made them tick', as he described once.

But despite this, Shizuo really thought for a moment. All of them had been with him throughout his childhood, one of them had to know this raven kid! He felt bad for using them, but they'd understand; they'd have to understand.

_'Sure, why not? I only have one job this morning, then the rest in the afternoon.' _He didn't even have to wait long for the response.

_'REALLY! NO JOKE? I'll tell everyone right now!' _The doctor responded, making the body-guard scowl. But then again, who knows, it might be fun after all.


	2. Chapter 2

He quickly finished and ate breakfast, heading out the door right on time. Though, he was disappointed with the fact Kasuka hadn't responded. He must've had to do something, his brother always responded.

_Later that afternoon..._

"Nee nee Shizu-chan, that's just unfair!" The raven pouted, trying to reach the hat Shizuo held too high for him to reach. "Give it back!" Usually Shizuo was against bullying, but something seemed different about this; there wasn't a smile on his face.

"No it's not! You don't have to cover your face with this stupid thing," Shizuo sternly said, clenching the hat even tighter. It was shocking, really. He actually cared if this kid wore hats because he was self-conscious? Usually he preached those people.

The raven stopped jumping, crossing his arms angrily. "It's my hat, I can do whatever I want!"

The burrnett suddenly leaned forward, being only inches away from the raven's face. "Not if it means hiding your face, you need to be you, not someone else; besides, it's too beautiful to hide~"

"Shizuo?" Tom's voice finally rang in his ears, snapping the blond out of his thoughts. Had he dozed-off into another daydream? He didn't even realize it. Ahhhhh.

"S-sorry, didn't get much sleep," he sighed, casually taking out a cigarette and lighting it. At least he didn't manage to cross the road when there was a red light or something insanely stupid like that; he'd manage to do it.

Tom watched him for a few moments, studying his every movement. "Really? That's not like you. Something bothering you?" He pulled out a cigarette as well, lighting it as they walked.

Shizuo inhaled some of the nicotine before blowing it out, staring blankly forward. He never liked getting others in his business, but this was his boss after all. "Nah, just some old memories have been bugging me, that's all."

"Old memories? Like what?"

Shizuo sighed, taking another dose from his cigar, trying to calm his nerves; he didn't want to have another panic attack, not with Tom here. "Just an old friend of mine, guess I've forgotten him."

"Ahh, that's always the worst," Tom sighed, putting his cigar out. He didn't even know why he lit one, he didn't like smoking. "If this person really matters to you though, they'll come back." Shizuo didn't say anything, and kept quiet throughout the duration of the job. They didn't even have to call an ambulance this time, which was quite shocking. Either way, Tom was thankful, paperwork was time consuming.

"See ya in a hour, have fun," Tom waved Shizuo off as the body-guard strolled down to the cafe where he was supposed to meet his friends. He'd been waiting for this all day, especially since his brother hadn't responded. Not that he minded, he was always busy, but he just wanted to know.

As he entered the cafe, he didn't have to search long, Celty stuck-out like a sore thumb; no offense to her. It wasn't everyday you saw someone wearing a helmet; a bright yellow one at that.

"Shizuo! Glad you made it!"Shinra cheered, holding his drink up and nearly spilling it on Celty. "O-oh, sorry Celty." Shizuo shook his head. He didn't understand how Kadota was able to put up with him. Then again, he could ask the same thing, but about him.

"How much of this did you have to put up with?" Shizuo asked Kadota, who was smiling up at him. He liked Kadota, he was cool and actually understood him. He also knew how to put up with the doctor, which to him, was great respect.

"It wasn't all that bad, he's worse when he's drunk," Kadota laughed, taking a sip of his drink. "You're lucky you've never seen him drunk."

"I'll keep that in mind," Shizuo chuckled, taking a seat. The waiter came around, seeing the new comer, but even she couldn't hide the terror written on her face.

"Wh-what can I get you sir?" She tried her best not to stutter, but failed. The whole table got silent, all of them looking at Shizuo with sad looks. They hated when people treated their friend with such terrible respect. Ahhhh.

Shizuo dropped his gaze, staring out the window without letting any of his emotions of the situation out. "I'll just take some ice tea and a chicken sandwich." The waitress rushed off, not even saying the usual good-byes. The blond was okay with that, as long as he wasn't being scared-down like a freak, he was happy.

"So," Shinra coughed, trying to start up another conversation. At least Shinra knew when to act, he did have some good points about him other then being a pretty good doctor. "How you been Shizuo? Celty and I are doing fine, a lot of new customers, and Kadota found himself two new friends."

Shizuo turned to Kadota with a questioning gaze. Two new friends? Not surprising, he always made friends with people, but Shinra was specific with 'two'. "Oh, do we know them?"

Kadota waved his hand, a look of embarrassment striking his face. "They're two crazy Otaku's, you don't want to meet them, trust me. They nearly followed me here just to meet you."

"Meet me?" Shizuo asked, a bit shocked. Then again, these were anime-fans. The brute was just shocked with the fact that Kadota actually called people Otaku's; he was usually really considerate.

"Yeah, they want to meet the man who's strength is that of Superman's, or whatever. They even know American shows." Shizuo couldn't help but giggle to himself, shaking his head. Some people never failed to cheer him up.

"So, how are you holding up? Being a body-guard must really suck sometimes." Shizuo moved uncomfortably, gaze drifting to the table just as the waitress put his order down. She didn't even say anything as she dashed away again. Ahhh, humans.

"Ehh, you get used to it. Besides, this is a job where I can beat people up and actually say I was defending myself." He took a sip of his drink, staring at the floating eyes considerably. Kasuka still hadn't text him back, guess it was time to ask his friends.

"Actually, I was hoping you guys could help me with something," he began, taking a bite out of his sandwich. The three friends looked at each other, a bit shocked, but smiled at him.

"We're always here to help you Shizuo," Shinra reassured. The blond nodded to them with that calming smile of his. Here it goes...

"I was wondering if you guys remembered me ever hanging out with a eight year-old boy with raven hair and pale skin-" he stopped, seeing how their faces contorted in fear. It was as if they had just seen ghosts! "What?"

The three of them stayed silent for a moment, unable to do anything but stare at the blond. It was making him feel uneasy. So they did remember him, and judging by their reaction, something really bad did happen to him after-all.

"Y-you don't remember- how, dear god, w-why didn't I notice?" Shinra's voice quivered, running a shaking hand through his dark-brown hair. "I-I should've guessed but, I-I just didn't pay much attention-" he went on and on, guilt hanging in that voice. Honestly, his reaction was scaring him.

"You guys do remember him, don't you?" He asked again, this time more firmly. He needed to know, unless he'd never be able to sleep again. "Tell me, tell me who it is, please!"

"We do Shizuo, but, but we can't, we just can't tell you who it is," Kadota's voice shook this time, bringing even more shock to the blond's mind. How? How could they not tell him what happened! If it was someone close to him, he wanted to remember him god-dammit!

"Why! Why can't you tell me!" He snapped, feeling his anger nearly veering out of control. Celty seemed to notice this as she fanned one of her arms down as she texted with her other, holding the phone up.

_ 'Calm down Shizuo, this is hard on everyone.'_ The brute looked up from the text, and at the other two.

"I just want to know his name, at least tell me that!"

"W-we can't," Shinra cried. Shizuo turned to him with a scowl, but saw the doctor with his hair in his face and tears streaming down his eyes. "We can't afford to see that way again... please, please just, don't."

See him, that way? What the hell happened! It only teased him, fueling his anger. All he wanted to know was the name, that was it! Was that too much to ask for? But as he studied his friends faces, he could honestly see the pain in their eyes. They were being truthful, they really wouldn't be able to handle seeing him so hurt.

That only meant that the boy in his dreams really did mean more to him then Kasuka... he didn't even think that was possible.

"Please... please... - I-I wouldn't be able to handle it," Shinra sighed, wiping the tears from his face realizing that Shizuo was beginning to understand. "If you figure out yourself, that's good, we wouldn't be able to stop you from remembering what happened. But we're able to stop it now, and we'd rather do that." Shizuo opened his mouth to say something, but decided just to keep it closed. He learned a while back to believe in his friends, and that's what he decided to do. He'd figure out the name, sooner or later.

"S-sorry," he apologized, clenching his pant-legs under the table. "It's been bugging me, the dreams I have and all."

"It's fine..." For the rest of lunch, Shizuo didn't speak much, and his friends decided to honor that. It just really made him wonder, what did he do after that boy went away? Why did it scare his friends this badly?


	3. Chapter 3

A week later...

Shizuo walked down the snowy-icy path in the park, eyes locked-onto the small boy huddled on a bench. He was wearing a lone-black-long-sleeved shirt that didn't look at all warm, and jeans he wore in the summer. His whole body was shivering, and his breath hung heavy in the air. It really made Shizuo worry. How long had he been out here? Did someone pick on him? Did his parents neglect him again?

"Oi, …., what you doing out here without a jacket?" Shizuo asked, coming up to the shivering boy. The raven slowly looked up at him, with that blurred face, but the burnett could feel the sense of urgency coursing through his veins.

"Shi-Shizu-chan," his voice trembled between his clattering teeth. Shizuo frowned at this and took off his own jacket, draping it over the raven. The small boy seemed to jump slightly, but pulled the warm cloth around his frame. Shizuo was fine with it, he could handle the cold.

"Thank you, Shizu-chan," the raven muttered more clearly this time, a small smile enveloping those frozen lips. The burnett smiled back, taking a seat on the bench and pulling the smaller kid on his lap.

Wait, when did he ever do that? This just seemed so impossible, he's never even done that to Kasuka when he was a baby!

"Why you out here, nee?" Shizuo was a bit worried at first, as the raven was silent for a moment, grasping his shirt with his small hands.

"... He was trying to- he was trying to get me," he trembled, unable to keep the sobs and tears away. The burrnett wrapped his strong arms around him, bringing him closer. "H-he grabbed my jacket, which was always too big on me, s-so I managed to get away by slipping out of it." He cried, digging his head into Shizuo's chest. The burnett seemed taken-aback, but laid his chin in that silky hair.

It hurt, it hurt so much seeing this small boy in pain, feeling the small trembles and quivers of terror. Yet, his old self still didn't seem to understand! "He was probably trying to calm you down-"

"N-no, Shizuo, you gotta listen to me! - I'm scared, I'm scared that he'll come after my family next. I need you, Shizu-chan."

"Man, those dreams really must be bothering you," Tom's voice broke through his daydream-memory, nearly making the blond jump. He nearly forgot that he was still at work, his legs moving him along unconsciously.

"S-sorry," Shizuo apologized, not knowing what to say for himself. He knew this was bad. What if he zoned out when Tom really needed him? That could turn out really bad. He needed to concentrate. He needed to concentrate.

"I'll keep my head during this assignment, promise," he ended the matter as they came up to a rather large-old house. It was in a part of the city he's never really gone too before, and wished he hadn't. Half the houses around them were for-closed, or seemed as if bombs had gone off in them. It was quite shocking, really. He didn't think Ikebukuro had a place like this.

Not that it mattered, he wanted to get in and out, then home. What he'd give to take a relaxing hot bath right now.

Tom rang the doorbell, deciding not to respond as the best course of action. But when no one came to the door, he tried again. "Hmm, that's weird, don't think someone's home," the debt collector frowned, placing a ear against the door. But there were no sounds except the hum of machines and the ticking of a clock.

"Hmmm, something doesn't seem right," Tom uttered, backing away from the door. "The information states that he's usually home at this time, unless he's hiding out." Shizuo took the hint and moved in-front of the door. He was used to this, but this time, he was determined to be extra careful with the door. Even though he was frustrated, he was determined not to knock it completely off it's hinges.

Taking a deep breath, he gently kicked the door. It made a groaning sound in defense, but shakingly swung open nevertheless. "Good job! One door that we don't have to fix!" Tom praised.

Shizuo couldn't help but smile softly to himself as they both entered. Seeing those memories of that kid was really helping with his temper, it was strange.

"This place looks, kinda empty," Tom observed, gazing around. Shizuo had to agree with him on that. From what he could tell, there were no house phones or photos. Just over-sized statues placed around the house. There was a stair-case completely covered in dust, yet the side-wall looked rather clean in the shape of a rectangle. It was weird looking.

"Why would he need a pad-lock on the case to put his keys in?" Tom wondered, making Shizuo turn his gaze to the table behind him. There was indeed a pad-lock on a small case made for keys. What did he drive, a million dollar car?

"I think we should search upstairs, he probably tried to jump out a window-" the debt collector stopped in mid-sentence, gazing at Shizuo, who was staring at the stair-case side-wall. The blond couldn't help but feel himself compelled forward, whether that was due to feeling a presence or not; so he allowed his body to be pulled forward. Why the hell would he want to see the wall? There was nothing special about it-

That's when it hit him. There was only a small part of the wall not dusty; of course, it was a door or a opening of some sort.

"What is is Shizuo?" The debt collector asked, taking a cautious step forward.

Shizuo turned to Tom with a proud smile. "This, this is a secrete bunker which I have no doubt our man is hiding in." Tom stared at the wall in aw, finally seeing what he was seeing. He didn't even say anything as Shizuo raised his foot to kick it down. Yet, he felt his heart pounding wildly against his chest, more memories of him and the boy flooding back to him all at once. Ahhh, curse Shinra and Kadota, now he couldn't concentrate!

Either way, he managed to kick the door-in, leaving it to barely hang on its engines. He was glad he was able to restrain himself again, and entered the small space cautiously. It was dark, nearly pitch black save the small streams of light that came through the now opened door.

"Tom, can you search for a light?" Shizuo asked, senses on high alert.

"Got it," he responded, though was blocked from Shizuo's mind as he heard a faint murmur. It wasn't like it was any form of words, which was strange. There was someone in here.

"Show yourself now or I will pound your face in!" Shizuo snapped, letting his anger drop from his throat. This earned another yet louder screech, making the blond turn his attention to one of the corners in the room. "Who the hell are you?" He snapped, yet, the voice seemed to drag his own voice down. It sounded, weird; familiar. It was so high-pitched yet, nearly non-existent, it tumbled his feelings. It reminded him of- No, it couldn't be.

Quickly, he pulled out his phone, opening it to shed some light in the dark space. It made the voice screech again, though now the blond could make out his labored breathing. Slowly, he walked forward, being sure to drag his feet in-case he might accidentally step on whomever this was.

"Tom, where are those lights?"

"I'm on it, it must be in a weird place." Shizuo shook his head. He'd have to do this in the dark; he just hoped the person wasn't smart enough to shift in the darkness.

"We're here to collect your debt, so don't bother hiding, I will find you-" he stopped in mid-sentence, the light on his phone finally shining upon a trembling body in the feeble position, leaning against the boiler and the wall. His throat was swelling, not knowing how to react to seeing this. The boy's appearance was strikingly familiar, a migraine pounding against his head as he stared at the teenager. What was worse was seeing dark-extreme wounds that littered his body. All he wore was an extremely large shirt, for him in any case, that went down to his knees, exposing the black-purple bruises that popped out. There were what looked like third-degree burn marks on that frail skin, and this was just his legs! Looking further up, he could make out what looked like strangle marks and bruises on his neck, being grazed by-

No... this was the same hair, raven-black, though it looked dead at the moment. His body, though much larger and dirtier, was the same, and his presence, by god it was the same; it was hard not to pull him in for hug. This was, no doubt the boy from his dreams; his memories.

"Hey, we're not gonna hurt you," Shizuo gently soothed, letting himself fall to his knees so he wouldn't seem all that taller to the raven. "We're here to help," he soothed, slowly inching closer. The raven seemed to hear this, as he coiled into himself more, his trembling only increasing.

Dammit, this might take a while. "Tom, call an ambulance, we need to get him to the hospital." Tom stared at him from the entrance of the crawl space, a little mystified, but did what he said. He could hardly make anything out, but knew that that was indeed a boy in need.

"We're gonna get you all fixed up, somewhere this bastard can't touch you anymore, okay?" His made sure his voice was the gentlest it could be, smiling with all his warmth. He didn't know what he could do to make this boy look at him, he wanted to see his face god-dammit! But he had to wait, he would only make himself an enemy if he touched him.

After for what seemed like hours, the small raven-haired teen cautiously unburied his head from his arms, gazing at Shizuo with squinted eyes.

That face- Those eyes- Shizuo felt his heart beating nearly out of his chest, wanting to explode and color an entire town. This was definitely the person from his dreams, the person from his memory, the person from his past; it was all coming back all at once.

His phone suddenly vibrated, nearly making him jump. Who the hell would be texting him right now? Quickly, he looked at the name to see it was Kasuka.

_ 'You don't remember Izaya? You two were inseparable, he was like my other brother.' _Yes, it was Izaya; Izaya Orihara. He was younger then him, way younger, but they had been the closets friends ever since he could remember. Yet, he was kidnapped ten years ago by their school counselor. Now he understood, now he remembered everything. He was so depressed after that happened, he didn't even want to recall all the things he did.

"I-Izaya?" His voice trembled, nearly dropping his phone. Tears were welling in his eyes as he continued to stare at that terrified face, trying his best to keep himself from embracing him. "I-I can't believe it, it really is you!" The raven seemed to coil even more at his name, though curiosity was clearly written on his face. Then again, how could he remember Shizuo since he dyed his hair blond? He did that to try to get rid of the memory of Izaya during his depression state.

"Izaya, it's me, Shizuo, Shizuo Heiwajima!" He cried, inching closer. The teen stared at him for a moment before his eyes widened, pupils shrinking to the back of his head in pure terror. He tried to let out a screech, but his breathing was really bad. That's weird, he never had a problem breathing before.

Then again, he was gone for ten years. "I dyed my hair blond, but I swear to god it's me!" Suddenly, the light came on, making Izaya shriek, hands pulling at his hair.

"I-I found the switch...," Tom trailed off, staring at the teen now in complete shock. "A-and the ambulance is on the way."

"Thanks Tom," Shizuo half-heartily thanked, wanting to yell at him for startling Izaya. Then again, every little thing did at the moment; god, he didn't even want to know what kind of hell he's been in. He might just turn into a monster.

Shizuo noticed Izaya's trembling gaze focused on Tom, which he couldn't blame him. He probably didn't see him until now due to the darkness. "Don't worry, he's my boss Tom. We were looking for the person that owns this house to put him in jail." Izaya's rusty-nearly-soul-less eyes went back on him, trembling as if they had a lot of coffee or something.

"I think they have him on some kind of drug," Tom suddenly beamed, worry etched in his voice. "He might be having a bad reaction, with the way he's breathing." Shizuo felt adrenaline coursing through him, the urge to scoop him up stronger then before. Who the hell would do this to Izaya?

"Shizuo, we need to get him out of here, now. This air with the combination of the drugs could be causing an asthma attack."

Asthma...? Shit shit shit. Shizuo couldn't waste another minute if they wanted to have a chance to save Izaya with little effects as possible. He scooted even closer to the teen, but Izaya wasn't even able to move this time.

"I know you probably don't want anyone touching you right now, but I need to carry you out, I'm sorry, I don't want to see you suffer more then you already are." Izaya opened his mouth to say something, but stopped as no words came out. It wasn't until now did Shizuo see the dried blood that lingered on his cheek and lips. It was as if someone had repeatingly slapped him or something.

Very gently, he reached out, wrapping one of his arms under his legs. The sudden touch made Izaya squeal weakly, but it was covered by dozens of coughs. He couldn't even move anymore, only weakly rock back and forth.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Shizuo cried, gently wrapping his other arm to hold his back. Izaya dryly squeaked, like a dying mouse, but couldn't do much more then that. Carefully, he lifted the extremely-light boy from the ground, cradling him like a small baby. "I'm sorry, just hold on till we get to the living room," he whispered into his ear as he climbed out of the small space, followed by Tom. They made their way over to the living room and laid the broken boy on the couch, where he continued to cough and twitch unnaturally.

"What drug do you suppose it is?" Shizuo asked Tom, clenching his trembling fists to his sides. He didn't even care when he began drawing blood, nothing could compare to what Izaya went through.

"Well, I'm not sure, but he's bleary and disoriented, which could be a number of things. But I'd suppose a drug that simulates pain to the nerves system, or one that enables his body to function correctly. Considering how he was able to move even a little bit, I'd roll that idea out."

A drug that inflicted pain? Who the hell would even think of doing that, and to such an innocent person like Izaya? It sickened him to no end. If he ever got his hands on his kidnapper, they might as well fetch a funeral car. Izaya used to be full of so much spirit, so much light, so much love. He only frowned when people picked on him, and when his family left him. Yet, he was reduced to merely a shell, a light in his eyes so far away he didn't know how he'd ever be able to reach him. His body was no longer flawless, various wounds covered it, and where there wasn't a wound, there was a scar. No wonder why he was only wearing a loose shirt, pants would make his wounds burn so badly, he'd really feel like he was in hell

"I'm sorry... I'm SOOO sorrry Izaya," he cried, not even caring that Tom was there to see his tears bead down his cheeks. He hurt, he hurt badly, and yet, even if this feeling was suffocating, it was nothing compared to all the pain Izaya must've felt.


	4. Chapter 4

OH, sooo sorry everyone ^ ^'' forgot to make a clarification ^ ^" Shizuo is twenty-four, and Izaya is eighteen ^ ^' So Izaya was in elementary school and Shizuo was a freshmen in High School when he got kidnapped. Sorry for the misunderstanding ^ ^"

O~w~O

"You know him?" Tom finally asked, though knowing the answer. Shizuo nodded, staring down at those soulless eyes that were staring into his, his battle to breath still underway.

"He's a really good friend from a long time ago," he sighed, letting his hair fall into his face. "He was like my brother, or maybe more then that, a-and I let him down when he needed me the most." The blond leaned down to the raven, hesitantly running light fingers through his hair. Izaya's breathing sharpened, flinching at the contact, still unable to let out a sound. Shizuo couldn't blame him, any touch right now must've been frightening.

"I wish I could take it all back, re-due the past," he cried, letting his tears show once again. "M-maybe then I could spare you of this pain."

"Shizuo, I think you should stop," Tom sadly spoke. "His breathing's worse now." Shizuo understood and withdrew, listening as his breathing returned to it's horrible state from moments ago. He hated this, he wanted to be able to do something! Anything was better then this. Dammitttttt.

"Isn't there anything we can do for him?" Shizuo growled, doing his best to resist brushing through that raven hair again. Even if it was dead, it still held that essence of pure silk; he could get lost in it for hours.

"I'm not a medicine person, sorry, I-I don't know." Shizuo scowled to himself, trying to come up with something. This must've been one of the worst things Tom's ever seen throughout his entire career. He probably didn't know how to deal with this.

Wait, medicine person-

Shizuo wanted to slap himself so hard he'd crash into the wall. He hated hospitals, never trusted them. Yet, out of pure shock and fear, he requested for them to come and take the precious teen from him.

HELL NO. Why didn't he keep a clear mind and call Shinra!

Quickly, he pulled his cellphone out and dialed Shinra's number. And here he was thinking Tom was freaking out, when he was the one that wasn't thinking straight.

"Hello?" Shinra's voice beamed happily through the phone, making Shizuo growl. He didn't understand why he could be so damned happy when Izaya was here suffering.

"Shinra, you're not gonna believe this-"

"You'd be surprised by what I believe, have you forgotten Celty-"

"Shut the hell up and listen!" He snapped, unconsciously punching the floor. It made Izaya force his eyes closed and slowly bury his head in his chest again. Dammittttttt! He scared him! But it seemed to make the doctor go silent.

"I need you to get to the address Tom will text you-"

"Wait," Tom interrupted, though his voice was low, nearly a whisper. He didn't want to intrude, Shizuo could tell, so he let him talk. "We'll probably be at the hospital by then."

Ohhh, dammit, Shizuo wasn't using his head again! Ahh, thank god Tom was paying attention. "I need you to get to the West Hospital as soon as possible."

"Why? What happened?"

He pursed his lips, not really knowing how to say this. It would be a huge shocker, he knew it, but he had to get Shinra to take Izaya in his care. "I found him Shinra, I found Izaya." There was a long pause, and he could swear he heard the doctor gulp in complete disbelief. He couldn't blame him, after all these years he's been missing, Shizuo, the one closest to him found him; saved him. Not only that, but it was just the other week Shizuo asked if they remembered his name. He wasn't mental, he actually found him.

"Shizuo, are you sure? I mean, he has been missing for ten years-"

"Shinra," Shizuo cut him off, not even caring. "I'm positive. But he's in serious condition, someone has him on drugs and is terrified of me for some reason," his voice cracked a bit on that last piece of information, as he still couldn't believe it. He didn't fully understand the strange look in the raven's eyes, the same look all the other humans gave him, but never Izaya. Even when Shizuo was close to nearly hitting him, he never looked scared, just sad. This was just heart-breaking.

"Shizuo, there really isn't much I can do if he's transferred to a hospital, I'm not a licenses doctor," Shinra sighed sadly, but Shizuo could hear him scrambling around, trying to get ready.

"I know, I want him transferred out of that place, I don't trust them, especially when they could 'accidentally' let the psycho-path that's kidnapped him in to see him. - No, I only trust you. Can you do that?" There was another off silence between the two, and Shizuo feared the answer. But the doctor finally sighed after what seemed like an eternity.

"I can forge my papers, I've done it before, but it's just risky. Stay with him then, I'll keep you posted on my status."

Shizuo couldn't help but smirk. He loved Shinra for this, he wouldn't make fun of his interest and fascination for the human body anymore; not if he could save Izaya. At this point, this one little teenager was the only thing holding him together, but Izaya was deteriorating by the second.

"Thanks Shinra, see you there," he smiled before hanging up. He was so glad Shinra would do anything for him and took back all the bad things he's said to the doctor, though, he knew he'd say them all over again. But as least Izaya was going to be safe with someone else he used to know. It might make him a bit more comfortable.

Sighing, he focused on the raven once more. His breathing was still labored, but his trembling had increased ten-fold. No doubt the fault was his, as he lost his temper. He was just relieved he was able to ensure Izaya's safety; or at least trying this time.

Slowly, he leaned down to Izaya, though careful to keep his distance. He didn't want to freak him out more. "Don't worry, I'm saving you Izaya. I promise, I'll do everything I can to keep that bastard away from you this time," his voice was low and soft, almost sounding like a voice in a dream. He didn't even know if Izaya had heard it or not, as he remained the same. But he was okay with that. He'd continue to reassure him until he was able to prove it.

The sound of the door opening made Shizuo spring to his feet, jumping in-front of the couch the raven was lying on. If it was that bastard-counselor, he was going to be sure he never even laid a single finger on him. However, he calmed seeing it was just the paramedics carrying in a stretcher.

"Wow wow, we're here to help," one of them gently spoke, knowing full-well the situation. Tom made sure not to leave out a single detail when he was on the phone. Shizuo had no choice but to ease himself, taking a step back to Izaya's side. They didn't say anything as their eyes settled upon the teen, their faces blanching slightly.

"That's him?" Shizuo wanted to punch these guys right now. And they were supposed to be professionals?

They seemed to read Shizuo's face as they didn't say anything and rushed on over, being careful to slowly touch him instead of immediately examining him. Izaya seemed to squeak, just as he did when Shizuo touched him in the crawl space, but seemed to curl in himself more then before.

"He was definitely injected with something, his eyes are dilated and glassed-over." Glassed over? Wasn't that really bad? Ahhhhh, why couldn't they speak English for him? "These wounds are pretty bad, probably causing his fever to be this severe. His breathing is hardly even doing anything, we must get him to the breathing machine right away." The paramedics then gently grabbed a hold of Izaya, which made him weakly swing his body back and forth in attempt to get away, but it was inevitable. It wasn't until now that Shizuo notice how flushed his face was, that pain-filled expression forever haunting him. His eyes nearly seemed as if they were swollen shut at this point, making the blond tremble. What the hell had that bastard done to him!

The paramedics finally managed to pull Izaya's light body onto the stretcher by the time Shizuo managed to calm himself down, though they were trying to decide the best way to strap him down. It would really hurt his wounds, and they didn't even want to see how badly injured his arms were. They were taking too long, didn't they know they had a life hanging in the balance!

"Tch, I'll make sure he doesn't fall," Shizuo snapped, going over to Izaya's side. The paramedics were able to argue, but Tom cleared his throat behind them, making them turn their attention to him.

"I'd listen to him, when he says something like that, he means it. He is, after all, the strongest man in Ikebukuro." The two paramedics looked at each other, before nodding. They couldn't deny the fact that Shizuo was capable of keeping the small boy from falling, they've seen the results of his strength on the news.

Shizuo couldn't help but smile, reminding himself to thank Tom later. But right now, he needed to be sure Izaya knew it was him holding onto him, no one else. Gently, he leaned down to Izaya, being careful with the distance again. "I have to keep a hold of your arms, but I swear, no matter what happens, even if the ambulance flips over, I will protect you with my body. I'll be sure no harm befalls you, okay Izi?" Izaya seemed to flinch hearing that name, though the brute didn't know whether it was a good or bad thing.

As promised, he slowly leaned down, gently taking a loose yet secure hold of the raven's wrists. He seemed to flinch a bit, but this time, not a single sound echoed through his throat. Shizuo couldn't help but smile slightly to himself, but didn't get his hopes up. Izaya could've been half unconscious right now, so this really didn't count.

They wheeled him onto the ambulance, and just as Shizuo promised, held onto him with all his gentle might. He was doing well, watching them place the breathing mask on the raven's mouth, until they brought out the needles. He wanted to look away, but he couldn't. He was afraid that if he took his eyes off Izaya that he'd disappear again, and he couldn't handle that. So he clenched his teeth, watching as they lifted one of his arms off the stretcher and pulled the sleeve up. Shizuo's face blanched, seeing the severe cut wounds that littered his arms. Some were deeper and longer then others, some weaker, but they were there, along with severe bruises and what looked like rope-burn marks. He could hardly watch as they rubbed the skin with a cloth and stuck the needle in.

Izaya suddenly snapped out of whatever sleep he was in as his small voice wailed, his high-pitched screech severing Shizuo's heart. Tears were rolling down those pale-abused cheeks, his trembling increasing dramatically.

Shizuo wanted to punch these guys out and let them get run-over, but something stopped him. Something he's only dreamed of before.

"S-so-rry," his chocked-dry voice mumbled through his wheezes. It was so light it seemed even the slightest bump in the road would shatter him. "I-I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." he continued to repeat over and over again, not even seeming to care that he was using precious air that was going through his hardly-working lungs.

That voice couldn't be Izaya's, it was too broken, too dry to be his. It didn't have any emotion in it except for fear. Yet, it was. It sounded like the same as his voice when he was younger, except it was lighter, more high-pitched. God it killed him, hearing his Izaya repeating the words on automatic response to being probed with a needle. No doubt his kidnapper injected him with many drugs and sedatives during the past ten years. It allowed them to control people better.

Slowly, Shizuo bent down low to Izaya's ear, hesitantly letting his forehead barely touch Izaya's head. He didn't know what to do, at this point, he too would break. "It's okay Izi, it's okay...," he gently soothed, feeling himself trembling. But no matter what they did, he couldn't calm himself down, so he continued. "They're just putting an IV, I swear on my life, they won't do anything to harm you, not while I'm still breathing," he cued, letting his own tears flow down his cheeks. He was a mess. Crying three times in one day? Definitely a new record for him ever since his depression days. But he'd do it everyday all day, if it helped Izaya.

"I'm not gonna let you go, not this time," his voice shook, not even bothering to mask the fact that he was crying this time. He had no emotional strength anymore.

For whatever reason, maybe due to the IV restoring his hydration, the raven grew silent and calm enough to slumber again. It was like that the whole way to the hospital, which Shizuo was grateful for.

As soon as they got to the hospital, the paramedics rushed Izaya out of the back of the ambulance and into the hands of the doctors and nurses that were there waiting for them. They allowed Shizuo to stay along-side them as they rushed to the designated room, but left him in the waiting room.

So he stood there, not even sitting down, just staring at the ground, tears silently running down his face. Izaya was like this because of him. Izaya was suffering, because of him. Izaya was terrified, because of him...

He didn't even know how many hours had passed when someone slipped through the door, but he didn't even bother looking up. It wasn't Izaya, so they weren't important.

"Hey Shizuo," Shinra's voice suddenly sounded off, breaking through the blond's clouded mind. But he didn't even look up, his fists shaking at his sides. "Sorry I didn't come see you when I first got here, they didn't let Celty in here because of her helmet, so she went to go get clearance from the manager. But I checked up on Izaya's status when I turned my paperwork in." Shizuo slowly let his gaze drift up to the doctor, who smiled at the eye-contact. Though, he couldn't hide that sadness that welled in his eyes.

"I can't believe you actually found him Shizuo, you found Izaya!" He warmly smiled, some tears of his own welling in his eyes. It took Shizuo a-back for a moment, nearly forgetting that they were close to the raven too. Whenever Izaya was around with them, Shizuo tried to keep him all to himself, but of course Izaya was just too adorable for that.

"H-how is he?" He asked, trying to make his voice stable, but ultimately failed.

"Well, the operation went well, they were able to reopen his airways that swelled due to the bad combination of drugs and his asthma. They were able to tone down the drug, but it'll still affect him. It's stronger then they've dealt with before. He's resting as of now." Shizuo nodded, now saying anything. What could he say honestly? At least he wasn't going to die, he'd have to commit suicide if it came to that.

"When can I see him?" He asked, raising his fists slightly. It wasn't until now that he noticed he had been drawing blood, and stared at his red-palms absentmindedly. "I promised him I'd be by his side to make sure no one hurt him... what would he do if he woke up without me there?" He cried, allowing his salty-clear tears to fall on his bloody palms. He didn't even seem to hear Shinra as he walked over to him, gently wrapping one of his arms with some of the bandaging cloth he always carried.

"Well, I can convince them to let you in. Usually people aren't allowed into the patients rooms until they've woken up and been thoroughly examined. However, this is a different case. Izaya was abused for over ten years, and who knows what they did to him. They just may allow you to be there, as you were the one to calm him down in the ambulance."

Shizuo raised a questioning eyebrow, staring at Shinra. "H-how did you-"

"I have my sources," Shinra smiled, wrapping the other hand. But his smile slowly faded, as if recalling something saddening. "I know what you're thinking, it wasn't the IV that soothed him," he began. "It may have played an important role, but it was your soothing words that really helped him." Shizuo wanted to ask how the hell he knew all that, but someone walked in before he could puzzle the question.

"Doctor Shinra," a man's voice called, making them both look up at the door. There they saw Celty and a rather tall-built man wearing a doctor's coat smiling at them. "I've viewed your papers, and you're set. However, we have to wait until the boy is responsive before you can transfer him to your courtiers." Shinra and Shizuo smiled, relieved with the news.

"Thanks, I'll be sure to send reports in, as promised."

"I'm counting on you," the manager smiled, gazing at Shizuo and his hands. It made the blond feel uncomfortable. Maybe he remembered him from the news and rumors, oh no, this was going to complicate things.

"You're the one that found him and came here with him, correct?" Shizuo nodded, watching the manager's gaze drift to his now bandaged hands. His face was sunken, as if he too understood the pain blaring in his heart. "Then, do you know this Izaya? Is he a friend or a relative?"

"Yes, he and I were friends, closer then brothers, sir," he honestly replied, letting his voice come out however it wanted. There was an uneasy moment of silence, and Shizuo feared that he was going to accuse him of something until a small smile appeared on his face.

"Then, if you will, could you sit with him in his room until he wakes up? Usually it's against policy, but this boy deserves to wake up to someone he knows."

That doctor-manager had no idea how happy he had just made the blond. "Thank you sir, thank you so much," he smiled warmly, bowing in respect.

"It's no problem at all. I know the pain of not being there for someone. I can't even imagine how it'll be like for him though... being kidnapped for ten years...," the doctor trailed off for a moment, as if he didn't believe it himself. Most people were killed after missing for a year, ten years was just pure luck. "Thank god, if you ask me. That boy's going to be a wreck, and he'll need someone to trust, even if he doesn't want to. - You may go in as you wish, there's already a chair set up for you." And with that, the manager left. Shizuo wanted to kiss the very ground he had been standing on, which was completely out of character for him. But that's how relieved he was. He's never felt himself happier in his entire life then now.

"Go," Shinra smiled from behind him, making the blond turn to him. "Go, welcome him back for us." Shizuo nodded, giving him a thumbs up.

"Thanks Shinra." And he was off. He rushed over to the room, explaining what the manager had said to the nurse who was blocking the door. She didn't seem to believe him at first, but decided to let him in anyway, not wanting to argue with him, Shizuo Heiwajima. This is why he didn't want to keep Izaya at the hospital, the staff members were unreliable.

Shaking these thoughts away, he quietly made his way over to the side of Izaya's bed, the sight nearly too much for him to handle. He was wearing a white nightgown, as everyone in the hospitals wore, but it exposed his cut-bruised arms, showing the abuse his body had went through. He was cleaned up, seeing how his face did look a little bit better with the dried blood and dirt gone, but he still looked as if he was dragged through dozens of horses and cows, then struck by lightening.

His eye-lids were twitching, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. He was probably having a bad dream, seeing how the breathing mask was still on him and the needles poked through his arms. It no doubt reminded him of times he had with the kidnapper. Ahhh, if only he was able to take all those memories away, to rid him of the terror he was forced to live through.

Slowly, he took a seat in the chair, feeling his legs aching as he was finally able to rest. But he'd put himself through hell itself before he'd ever be able to equal the same pain Izaya went through.

Leaning forward a bit, Shizuo pursed his lips, not really knowing what to say. He wanted to tell him so much, but he didn't know if Izaya would hear or care. So he decided to keep it as simple as possible.

"I'm here Izi, Shizu-chan will never let that bastard hurt you again..."


	5. Chapter 5

Hours had passed since Shizuo entered the room. Day turned into night, and night turned into day. Nurses and doctors came in every now and then to check up on him and Shizuo for the past few days. They were even able to take him off the breathing treatment, since his breathing returned to normal, but Izaya still hadn't stirred. It was really unnerving the blond, he was hardly able to sit still in his chair anymore. The lack of sleep probably didn't help either, but knowing Izaya's kidnapper must've come home by now to see it over-run by cops was drilled into his mind. At any second, any moment, that man might march right in here, and Shizuo was going to pound his face in. There was no way in hell he was going to let him touch Izaya again.

Afternoon rolled around, and the sun was nearly completely down the mountain yet again. Shinra should be there in a few minutes to check-up on them, so at least he'd be able to talk to someone. Every now and then, he'd whisper things to Izaya, how his life's been, and how he was going to take good care of him once he got better. But he was extra careful not to touch him, fearing what the reaction would be, especially if he was asleep.

It was the sixth day when Izaya's sheets suddenly moved slightly, making the blond's eyes dart to Izaya's face. His breath left him, seeing the raven's eyes opened a slit, trying to adjust to the lighting. Shizuo had no idea what to do, should he call him? Should he gently hold his hand? Or should he pretend he was asleep? No, he didn't want to pretend to sleep, Izaya might not trust him being around. He shouldn't touch him, remembering how he responded last time. He only had one option, but his heart was beating wildly in his chest.

"Izi...," he gently spoke, allowing his warming smile to befall his face. The raven seemed a bit startled hearing a voice, but slowly allowed his sore head to turn until his eyes meant Shizuo's. They still seemed so lost, so broken, yet now confusion flickered in his eyes more then ever.

"I'm glad you're awake, how you feeling?" He asked. But as moments passed, the raven didn't respond, he just continued to stare at Shizuo. It was a bit unnerving, but he could take it. It was as if Izaya was studying him up and down, though his eyes remained still. As minutes passed, Shizuo was worried that something happened that caused him to be so still, but didn't have the courage to get up and ask for help.

"Shinra, Celty and Kadota are worried about you," he began, though his smile wavered a bit. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. He just wanted his Izaya back. "They've been here off and on, though Shinra's been the only one allowed in. He's a doctor now, just like he always wanted... And once you're responding well, we can check you out of this hospital and get you to Shinra's place. It's very secretive, so no one will even suspect that he treats people there..." he trailed off, not even knowing why he had continued the thought. Izaya was still staring at him with those eyes, hardly even blinking. "Kadota's been doing fine as well, making lots of friends like usual." He sighed. He didn't know what to talk about. He didn't want to bring anything up that would upset the poor little Izaya, he just wanted him to respond to him; to hear that voice again, without it begging.

The door opening suddenly drew them out of their thoughts, making Izaya begin to tremble. Shizuo quickly jumped up, making soothing shush noises to him. "It's alright, it's okay, no one but doctors are allowed in here," Shizuo soothed in that mesmerizing voice of his. Izaya looked up into Shizuo's mocha eyes for a moment, as if trying to find some reason to trust him. The blond couldn't blame him, it was probably hard to trust anyone after all he's been through.

"Izaya!" Shinra's voice rang with excitement, but was careful to have a relaxing coat over his voice. "We were beginning to get worried," he warmly smiled, cautiously making his way over to the side of his bed. Shizuo gave him a warning look, which Shinra took to heart.

"How you feeling? Haven't seen you in ten years, man, you've gotten bigger," he smiled, those kind eyes gleaming through his glasses. Those were the eyes that anyone could trust. They were so luring, so comforting. Sometimes it was hard to believe that those eyes belonged to Shinra. Izaya seemed to stare into Shinra's eyes for a while as well, as if seeing things the two of them couldn't. It was quite breath-taking really.

When Shinra realized he wasn't going to get an answer, he cleared his throat. "Don't worry, as Shizuo probably explained, we're gonna get you out of the public, that way you don't have to worry about anyone hurting you, 'kay? - We couldn't bear it if you were hurt anymore." There was something in his voice then that made both the raven and the blond stare at Shinra with much shock. He sounded so sad, almost as if he was grieving, yet happy. Strange.

"Though I better get going, had another urgent call before I came in, just wanted to check up on you. - But I promise to see you later Izaya, be nice to Shizuo, he can be an emotional wreck sometimes~" he teased. Shizuo glowered at him, anger fuming out of his head.

"And here I was thinking about taking back all the things I said?" He snapped. "I take it all back, you overgrown pervert ferret! Kadota and I will never come over to your drunk parties, ever!"

Shinra just smiled evilly from the door, "oh, you won't have a choice, my dear Shizuo~" he chuckled before shutting the door. Shizuo stared at it for a moment, not even knowing what the two of them just argued about. Guess it helped relieve the tension off his shoulders. Heh, that bumbling Doctor really knew him better then he thought.

Shaking his thoughts away, he turned back to Izaya, who was looking at him with those rusty-red eyes just like before. But there was something different about them this time, he didn't now what it was.

"S-sorry about that, he's always driven me insane, if you remember," he nervously smiled, rubbing the back of his head innocently. "He's really good with his work though, he's patched me up more times then I can count. He's even patched me up from two severe shot wounds," he chuckled before freezing. Had he really just said that? To Izaya, someone who was traumatized for who knows how long? Wow, he really was a protozoan. But Izaya still didn't say anything, just continued to stare. The blond noticed his eyes that kept drooping, and smiled to himself. He was quite adorable, even though he was covered in wounds. He always has been adorable.

This is what happened for the next few days. Izaya would watch Shizuo when he was awake, listening to him as he talked about things, mostly nonsense. Then Shizuo would watch Izaya as he slept, trying his best not to comfort him when he was sucked into a nightmare. It was hard, seeing Izaya trembling, hands and legs twitching. Sometimes he'd even mutter things; those were the worst times.

It was at least a week and a half when Izaya seemed to be a little more comfortable. His nightmares were slowly stopping, and he seemed to pay more attention to what Shizuo was saying, but still hadn't said anything. He didn't sleep as much either, which meant his strength was slowly returning. However, his IV was running low, he hoped Shinra would be able to get him out of there by the time it ran out.

It was the eleventh day being in the hospital, and everything seemed just like the previous days, but Shizuo hadn't really said anything, running out of things to talk about. He was really starting to consider taking Shinra's request to read Izaya a story book.

"Would you like it, if I read a few books to you?" Shizuo asked, staring rather absent-mindlessly at the raven. He was finding it harder and harder to hope Izaya would ever trust him again, since he still hadn't spoken to him. "Shinra wanted to bring a few books over, so maybe he and I can share some of them with you since I've run out of things to talk about," he nervously smiled. He knew he wasn't going to get a response, but it was worth a shot. He was going to take Shinra up on the offer anyway.

"You," a small, high-pitched voice suddenly croaked, making Shizuo's heart nearly stop. Had Izaya really talked? Gazing into his eyes, he could see that he was the one that had said something. "Y-you n-never said h-how you were d-doing." It was a bit hard to piece together what he had said, but it could've been due to the shock the monster was in. Izaya was really talking to him, as if he was slowly, very slowly, connecting to reality again.

"O-oh, eh," he frowned,though very happy with the fact that Izaya finally spoke, and it was about him! Yet, he couldn't help but feel sad and lonely, since he felt those emotions in his everyday life. "W-well, things just haven't been the same since you-" he stopped himself, trying to keep the tears back. He hated himself. He hated how he nearly reminded Izaya of everything he went through. He hated how he was the reason for Izaya being in the hospital, suffering. He hated how he was truly a freak.

Izaya's eyes lowered for a moment, a slight darkness overcoming them. Shizuo wanted to reach out for his hand and cuff it, but really didn't want to break the one and only chance he had at talking to him.

"Your hair, i-it's different," Izaya pointed out, letting his eyes stare at it.

Shizuo smirked slightly, running a hand through his blond hair. "Yeah, I've dyed it for a while now."

"Why?" Shizuo's heart sank. Why did Izaya have to hit all the places that ached right now? God it hurt, it hurt so much. He hadn't even noticed that his mood and aura changed to depressed? It was just natural to him. Luckily, Izaya seemed to understand.

"I-I like it, Shi-Shizu-chan." Shizuo could feel his entire body trembling, and badly. Had Izaya really just called him Shizu-chan? After all he's put him through? Studying his face, there was a slight smile plastered on his lips, as if he was remembering the good times. Maybe Shizuo and Shinra's fight a few days ago brought back the good times.

"I-I could hug you right now," Shizuo sniffed, unable to keep the tears back. Izaya seemed to flinch, as if recalling the feeling of being touched, and seemed distant for a few minutes before coming back to reality. It scared him, more then it should've.

"I-I've missed you, Shizu-chan," Izaya nearly cried, but the door once again opened. This time Shizuo sprung up, knowing that it wasn't Shinra this time. He was happy when Izaya didn't let out a screech this time. Maybe he saw how protective Shizuo was being, how he really wasn't going to let anyone hurt him.

The doctor and nurse froze at the sudden movement, not knowing what to do. They knew Shizuo and his anger problems, and of course, his strength. They were petrified of him, even though they tried their best to hide it. But they never fooled the blond for a minute, that fear was always clearly written on their faces, and it dampened his mood.

"W-we're just here to ask him a few questions and check him over," the doctor and nurse reassured, the same ones that had been with him through the whole time Izaya was here. Shizuo looked towards the wall, trying his best to calm him self down. He could feel Izaya's gaze on him now, and wanted to punch his own lights out. How could he let Izaya see his sadness when he needed to be taken care of right now?

Shaking these thoughts away, he nodded. The doctor and nurse didn't say anything, with fears of angering him and waited for the brute to sit back down before they even dared to take a step forward. Shizuo couldn't even find it within him to look at Izaya, though knew he had to once they started checking him. Izaya only semi trusted him at the moment.

"Good afternoon Izaya, I'm doctor Wei, and this is my assistant May," the doctor began, trying to slowly interact with the raven. But he stared at them with wide eyes, unable to keep himself from trembling. Shizuo finally allowed his eyes to lock onto Izaya, no longer feeling his gaze on him, and wanted to shove the two workers out the door. But if they could help, he'd let them. He was going to be sure they didn't overstep their boundaries though.

When Izaya didn't respond to them, they smiled half-heartily, taking a glance at the clipboard in their hands. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want too, we'll understand. Being gone for so long really must-"

"Shut the hell up and just do your job," Shizuo snapped, clenching the arms of his chair. He couldn't believe these guys. They wanted him to remember everything that's happened to him? That's no way to help someone get better, ever. If this was how trained professionals worked, he lost faith in the government.

The doctor and nurse jumped at his voice, staring at him with waving arms. They were too afraid to speak, probably wondering if they were gonna get their heads bashed in. So Shizuo took a deep breath, and allowed himself to relax a bit.

"S-sorry Izaya," he quickly apologized, looking down at his feet. He nearly forgot that anything sudden scared the small teen, though not really knowing if he had frightened him, he still felt bad all the same.

After a few minutes of an awkward silence, the doctor cleared his throat and got to work. He stared at the monitors, then back at his clipboard, recording whatever it was telling them down. The nurse did the same, though glanced at Shizuo every now and then. The blond scowled to himself, he just needed to hold out until they left, he could do that for Izaya.

"We're gonna change the IV, that's it, okay?" The nurse spoke to Izaya, though she clearly couldn't mask the fear in her voice. It made Izaya cringe a bit, looking over at Shizuo with pleading eyes. The blond could hardly register what was happening as the nurse reached over and held Izaya's arm down. Izaya's eyes widened, pupil's so small they were hardly even see-able.

"N-NOOO NOOO NOOO!" He lashed, drunkenly swinging his hands and legs as if he was trying to get free from someone. "I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!" He cried, tears flowing down his face. His voice was so loud, so heart breaking, Shizuo sprung up and shoved the nurse away from him.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Shizuo snapped to the petrified nurse, who was staring at the two of them with wide eyes.

"Sedative, get the sedatives!" The doctor ordered, taking a step back from the bed. The nurse fumbled her hand into her pocket, making Shizuo scowl. They weren't gonna give him another dose of drugs, not when he was still breathing.

"No, let me try to calm him down first," he pleaded, though really not giving them much of a choice.

"But protocol-"

"Screw protocol!" He sneered, turning his attention back to the raging raven. His hands were burying his face, his body still fighting, and he was rocking, like a small child who had just seen their parents murdered.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he continued to murmur. Shizuo clenched his fists. This was it, this was his only chance.

Slowly, he leaned down to Izaya, keeping his distance like always. "It's okay Izi, it's okay," he gently soothed in that cool voice. "No one touches my Flea but me." Izaya's body seemed to freeze at the nickname, his cries lost. He seemed too shocked to say or do anything, only allowing his head to turn towards Shizuo. The blond warmly smiled, loving the fact that he was able to calm Izaya down with merely one word.

"Isn't that right, Izi? You're my Flea, and-"

"My, my," Izaya quietly spoke, his eyes soft as he recalled a memory. "My neanderthal..." Shizuo could feel his tears slowly going down his cheeks, not bothering to hold them back this time. That was it, he couldn't hold it back anymore. Izaya remembered him, though maybe slightly, it still made his whole world.

"That's right," he smiled, slowly reaching out towards Izaya's head. The raven watched his hand as it crept towards him, watching it with mixed feelings. Slowly and steadily, Shizuo laid his hand gently on that raven ball of hair, being sure that he was just ghosting his hand against his head to reassure him. The blond could feel the raven tremble from under him, shaking and quivering slightly at the presence of the hand. It was clear that the thought of being touched scared him, yet, there was small determination set in those rusty-red eyes; he wanted Shizuo to be able to touch him. No matter how much he wanted to deny the fact, those eyes said it all.

"They're humans, what do you expect?" He continued to smile, slowly running his hand back and forth. Izaya gave a small whimper at the feeling, but slowly began relaxing at the touch. It was completely shocking, actually. If Shizuo hadn't remembered this was one of Izaya's weak spots for comforting, he'd believe Izaya was replaced with a clone.

"Shizu...o..." It was taking everything the blond had not to blush at that adorable face. Despite all the scars and wounds, he looked like a small kitten getting a massage. His eyes were curved shut, his eye-lashes resembling a girls, and his mouth slightly ajar, slightly twisted into a smile. Why did he have to be so freakin adorable?

No, he needed to stay concentrated. Izaya was ill and needed a new IV before anything else. He needed to get that accomplished before he got carried away and scared the poor boy. Slowly, he leaned down to Izaya's ear, keeping his distance, but dared to be a little closer. Izaya didn't seemed to mind, possibly because of the massage he was receiving.

"Do you want me to switch your IV out?" Shizuo asked in that voice that could make even stray cats gaze up at him in wonder. It seemed nearly impossible for his brute mouth, the only person who's heard it before was Izaya; ten years ago.

The raven seemed to take comfort in that voice, as he gave a slight nod. He was probably too transfixed to really say anything. That was fine with Shizuo, as long as he was able to help him.

"But we can't allow you to do that!" The doctor proclaimed from his side. It wasn't that effective, as his voice still shook in obvious fear and anxiety. Those two were really beginning to piss him off.

"I've had to have one of these things more times then you can count," Shizuo hissed, gently moving his hand away from Izaya's hair. Izaya seemed to whimper slightly at the loss of contact, but grew silent. His breathing was easy, the smoothest it's been since they've been there; he could hardly believe it. Was he the reason for that soft breathing...?

No, that was silly, why would he, Shizuo, the one who did nothing to help Izaya when he needed him the most, be able to sooth him like this? Shaking these thoughts away, he began focusing on the task at hand. He gently reached over, hands cautiously touching the wire going into Izaya's arm. The raven barely flinched, which Shizuo was relieved for. He's only done this to himself, not on anyone else. He didn't know what he'd do if Izaya struggled too much, what he'd have to do if he did this wrong.

No, he was going to do this right, to show Izaya that no harm would befall him as long as he was at his side. Gently, he slid the old needle out, earning a small whimper from Izaya; but like before, he remained silent, apprehensive. The blond then carefully took-up the new needle and located his vein. The nurse squeaked a bit, as if she was gong to attempt to stop him, but she didn't.

Shizuo then cautiously injected the needle into Izaya's frail arm, making it hit its target perfectly. Izaya didn't even let out a single noise as the brute injected it, almost as if he hadn't felt it at all. But he knew he felt it, his poor body was so frail the slightest pinch might leave a bruise.

"There, all done," Shizuo warmly smiled, shining it at Izaya's half-closed eyes. He didn't seem too thrilled about what he had just done, but not even Izaya was that stupid; he knew the importance of IV's. He just didn't like needles, which Shizuo really couldn't blame him for. He's always feared needles.

"Thanks, Shizu-chan," Izaya's small voice relayed, shocking Shizuo. He was talking, when there were strangers in the room! Unless he had already forgotten they were there.

"Anytime Izi," he giggled, running his fingers through Izaya's raven hair once more. Izaya seemed to smile slightly at the notion, allowing his eyes to close. It must've been a long time since the poor little raven felt anyone comfort him, in a way, it scared him. Yet, he was just glad he was able to bring this adorable-humble smile to his face.

The doctor cleared his throat, not seeming to like the fact they were invisible to the two in the room. Shizuo really could care less about them, seriously. "Well... we'll just, get going now," the Doctor gulped, looking nervously at the clock. Shizuo knew he saw both of them as freaks now. If only he wasn't a doctor, he'd gladly toss him down the street.

"Yeah, thanks for doing nothing," Shizuo muttered under his breath as the two rushed out of the room. Dammit, why did he scare everyone off like that? Why was his reputation so bad? He just wanted to be like everyone else, he truly-honestly hated violence.

"I-I missed the pets," Izaya spoke softly, now easing into Shizuo's hand. His mouth was parted, just like before, and his eyes were curved with a small smile playing on his lips. He reminded Shizuo of a small animal, a small cat or something of the sort. And he was a sucker for animals.

Oh god, oh god, he didn't know how he was going to be able to deal with this.

Half-lidded rusty-red eyes staring into his snapped the blond out of his thoughts, only now seeing the small blush that covered Izaya's face. Well, he hoped it was a blush-

What the hell was he thinking? Yes, he hoped it was a blush, because if it wasn't, that would mean he was running a fever, which would only make his condition worse. He did get them way too often when he was little, he could still be the same.

"I've missed you, god, you don't even want to know how much," Shizuo smiled, though couldn't help the small tears that were beginning to well in his eyes. He didn't want to cave-in, not yet. He didn't now if he'd scare Izaya, or show weakness. The blond really didn't know what he'd do if Izaya didn't trust him as he once did before; well, trust him as much as he could; Shizuo was the reason Izaya was kidnapped in the first place.

"I'm just glad you're back, that I was able to set you free..." his voice went low and dark, noticing where this conversation was heading. He didn't want to remember the depression he went through, the death he had come so close to on so many occasions. He would be dead, if Kadota and Celty hadn't pulled the gun from his hand at one point.

Izaya's eyes began watering too, his facial expressions going from emotionless to pure fear. He didn't seem to know which one to stick to, and Shizuo understood. He didn't want to show weakness or disobedience, most likely still fearing his kidnapper was going to pop-in at any moment.

Maybe once Shinra was able to get him out of this hell hole, Izaya would be able to be free to feel safe for once. And then, Shizuo could comfort him the way he always did; never letting him go this time.


	6. Chapter 6

A small knock came from the door, making Izaya let out a screech. Shizuo quickly flung his head around, ready to scare the living spirit out of who wanted to disturb them; that dared frighten Izaya.

The door opened, and a brown-haired head poked through. "Good morning," Shinra smiled, finally entering and closing the door behind him. He didn't even seem to notice the poisonous glare Shizuo was throwing his way; that babbling doctor was always so oblivious to those things.

"Ah, why hello there Izaya! Got great news for you!" Either he didn't see the tears, or didn't pay much mind to them, as he didn't know what to do. Shizuo understood, Shinra didn't know what he had been crying about, for all he knew, he was crying about pain, or being touched; it was always hard to tell. But Shizuo swore to himself that he'd be sure he knew how to tell the difference, and be able to comfort him.

"You could've called first," Shizuo snapped, turning back to raven who seemed to be uncomfortable, once again. Shizuo was even continuing the pets, guess Shinra really put a scare into him.

"My phone died," he simply waved, that smile quickly returning to his face. "Anywho, the good news is I can get Izaya out of here in two days."

"Two days?" Shizuo smiled. A part of him really wanted to ask what took the doctor so long, but considering how they were nearly unable to get Izaya out of the hospital altogether made him shut his mouth. This was a miracle, and he wasn't going to question it.

"Thank god," he sighed, allowing his massage, or 'pets' to run smoother then a few moments before. He could feel Izaya slowly mend back to the way he was before the doctor rudely interrupted, but his mouth remained closed, and his eyes remained sealed with no curved smiles. It saddened Shizuo a bit, he really hoped Izaya would be happy with the news, guess he was wrong.

"Did you hear that Izaya?" Shizuo gently cooed, not letting his eyes off the pale face. "We'll be completely safe once we reach Shinra's." Izaya didn't answer him, even when he waited for another good five minutes to pass. The blond knew he wasn't sleeping, as he felt his breath still uneven. God-dammit, he wished he could slap Shinra right now.

"Well...," Shinra trailed off, smile wavering a bit. It was obvious he was expecting a cheer, a smile, something that showed Izaya was excited. Shizuo was shooting him the 'good-job' look, but he, as always, didn't seem to understand what he meant.

"Is there anything else?" Shizuo had to do his best not to snap at him again.

"Oh right, a psychiatrist is being administered." Shizuo raised a questioning eyebrow. Shinra knew he didn't know most medical terms, he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. "Someone who sees how mentally stable Izaya is, and gives him medicine from there."

"Medicine? Medicine for what?" He couldn't help but ask, completely baffled with the concept. Izaya's been on enough drugs, including ones that purposely caused agonizing pain to the nervous system. There was no way he was going to allow these people give him more drugs to mess him up.

"No, I don't want him on anything else, he's been far through enough," Shizuo growled, taking a protective step towards the raven.

"I know he has," Shinra quickly brought up, crossing his arms with a disapproving look on his face. "But it was part of the deal we made. We can take Izaya out, as long as an educated psychiatric keeps tabs on him. They don't want him going, insane or anything..." Shinra trailed off, his face saddening at the comment. Shizuo knew he wasn't too happy being forced to say that, but it was the reality he had to speak. There was no use in lying when everything was this messed up.

"... What kind of medicine will it be?"

Shinra shrugged, adjusting his glasses. "Depends on the patient's condition. But none of the medicine will harm him, don't worry. These were tested and approved." Shizuo couldn't help but scowl, wanting to kick something right now. Yeah, like they hadn't been wrong in the past, he wanted to spit in their faces.

"I-I don't want Izaya on them," he sighed, letting his gaze shift to the raven. He was shocked to see his eyes opened slightly, staring up at him as if he had been watching him the whole time. But that only made his decision firmer. "I couldn't do that to you. Isn't there anyway we can just 'say' he took the pills?"

"I wish it were that easy," Shinra sighed, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes. "You could get arrested for faking. You can't afford that on your record, and I can't afford that." Shizuo clenched his teeth, not even realizing he had stopped the soothing pets for Izaya.

"It's okay," Izaya's voice suddenly spoke up, shocking both Shinra and Shizuo. They turned to him, eyes wide to see him still gazing at Shizuo with those half-opened eyes. "I'll take them Shizu-chan, as long, as long as..." he trailed off, eyes down-casting a bit. He seemed saddened, depressed, dark. It sent shivers down the two's spines, unable to even breath. "As long as it keeps you guys out of trouble..." Whatever he was going to say was lost, and the blond knew it. He wanted to know what his thoughts were, to probe his mind like Izaya always probed theirs, but he was always too unreadable, especially now.

"Are you sure?" Shizuo asked in the soothed tone, beginning his petting massage once again. The raven's breathing sped up a bit as he leaned into the massage, his mouth remaining slightly opened like before .

"Y-yeah... well, they won't hurt me, right?" Even Shinra could hear the fear present in Izaya's voice. It was truthfully unwavering.

"No no," Shinra quickly added, clapping his hands together. "These drugs just help calm the mind's thoughts so you don't start hallucinating and whatnot. Kind of like ADHD pills in a sense." Izaya remained silent for a moment, as if trying to take this all in. Shizuo really wondered if Izaya knew what ADHD was, considering he only had ten years of education. Ahh, Shizuo was going to be sure he'd find someone to help him with that later.

"Okay... as long as they don't mess with you guys," Izaya quietly muffled, his body slowly going limb. The blond knew he was beginning to drift to sleep, and couldn't help but smile. Shinra opened his mouth to say something, but Shizuo shot him a huge glare, silencing him instantly. Within a few minutes, the raven was softly slumbering, cuddling with the side of Shizuo's hand. The bumbling doctor slowly walked up to them, being careful to keep his distance away from Izaya so he wouldn't startle him.

"You know, most people after being kidnapped for so long can't even dream of being touched after just a few days," Shinra warmly smiled, that look of pure love present on his face once more. "You're lucky, Shizuo." The blond raised a questioning eyebrow, seeming to be completely confused by his rambling. But he could tell it was heart-full, that he really meant what he was saying, so he allowed the doctor to continue.

"Izaya seems to trust you, and only after, how long has it been, a week and a half? Something like that."

"Trust?" Shizuo couldn't help but chuckle, not believing what he just said. "How the hell can he trust me after I didn't listen to him?" He snapped, though careful to keep his voice low so he wouldn't stir the small teen.

"That doesn't matter to him Shizuo," Shinra clarified, silencing the brute. "Just look at the way he's leaning into your hand. He wants to trust you, he wants to be able to return things back to normal." Shizuo gazed back at the raven, trying to see what Shinra was seeing. The blond wasn't a doctor, he didn't see the same things Shinra did. "Just look at the way his lips are gently curved, almost into a smile."

A smile? Taking a closer look, he could see the beginning of a genuine, pleased smile. For once, he felt like laughing at himself and his owns stupidity. Izaya was really trying his best to cling to Shizuo, it was just... hard for him. God, his feelings were conflicted now.

"You mean a lot to him, don't you forget that... I bet he literally doesn't want to go on without you." Shizuo turned to Shinra in complete shock at the accusation, wanting to say something, but kept his mouth shut. Could that be true? When he, Shizuo was so depressed, he had absolutely nothing left keeping him there. One of his old friends helped delude his mind from that fact, as he figured out a few days after she left. Izaya probably didn't have anything... anything at all-

No, no way. Those cuts on his wrists must've been from- Oh god, oh god, he felt like he could throw up. Then again, Shizuo had done the same thing during his depression. But thinking about the small raven doing it just killed something inside him.

A few minutes passed in silence, as the two of them watched the small boy slumber. Every now and then, Shizuo would steal a glance over at the doctor. He didn't know how to explain this, but there was something sad in his eyes. It was there since the first time Shinra had come to see him in the guest-waiting room as well. It was as if he was harboring a deep sorrow he didn't even want to utter, and it was beginning to eat him alive.

But Shizuo didn't say anything. He didn't want to bring a whole storm to the doctor and risk waking Izaya. Seeing the doctor cry might make him sad or unnerved, and he didn't want to risk that. Izaya was literally his whole world to him right now, and he was determined to make him happy, not sad.

"Well, I better get going and leave you two," Shinra sighed, trotting over to the door. "Remember, two days."

The first day went by rather quick, quicker then Shizuo would've anticipated. Izaya mainly slept through the day, waking up for a bit to feel the gentle massage Shizuo always give him. They'd talk for a bit, mostly Shizuo talking about how he would never let any harm befall Izaya, and how much fun they'd have at Shinra's. Izaya mostly listened, asking a few questions here and there, which Shizuo was relieved for. At least Izaya was attempting to reach-out more.

Then the next day came; the last day in this hell hole, as Shizuo put it. Unfortunately, that also meant they'd have to talk to the psychiatrist today. Shizuo really didn't want too, but he had too. Dammit.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya's small voice came from the small bed, making the blond quickly zip away from the white board filled with plans and schedules and slid to Izaya's side. The raven seemed a bit shocked and scared, staring into Shizuo's mocha eyes with trembling eyes. It made him feel terrible.

"S-sorry, I was checking the board," he honestly replied, nervously scratching the back of his head. "I wanted to be sure we were only gonna be visited by the psychiatrist today." Slowly, he reached his hand out, and was shocked to see Izaya lean his head to the side a bit, a soft smile enveloping his lips. Izaya was really beginning to love this, wasn't he? Usually he'd just watch Shizuo, as if thinking he was going to hit him instead. Now, he was welcoming it, nearly asking for it.

Was he really slowly, but surely, breaking the broken Izaya and reforming his original self?

"It's okay Shizu-chan," Izaya smiled even more, his eyes closed as he leaned against the strong hand slowly caressing his hair. "I-I was just worried-," he stopped himself. Shizuo wanted to ask what he was about to say, but found it better just to keep his mouth shut. He didn't want to upset the poor little boy. If he didn't want to talk about it, he didn't have to. Though, it made Shizuo a bit unnerved. Was he afraid Shizuo left him? Or was he afraid the people were trying to take Shizuo away from him?

The morning went by like every other morning. Izaya fell asleep once more, and when he woke up between naps, the two of them would talk. This rolled them into the afternoon, and then the evening. They were told the psychiatrist was running late, which they really didn't care for. He was going to be the last obstacle to overcome before they were able to set Izaya free, and really free. When there was a knock at the door, Shizuo mentally shouted 'finally!' and turned to wave the person in. But he didn't dare leave Izaya's side; he never left Izaya's side when strangers were in there.

"Good evening," the person greeted, bowing as he entered. Shizuo was about to exchange the greeting, when he felt a hand quickly grasp his. It nearly made him jump, as he didn't even except it at all. He could feel the frail-warming skin that tremble against his and the IV wire bouncing against his arm; it was no doubt Izaya.

But Izaya willingly grabbing onto him like that? He could hardly stand him being close to him, yet grabbed into him? Guess the past few days have worked, making Izaya feel more comfortable with him. But the question still remained: What was scaring him to the point he'd willingly hold onto someone?

Quickly, he turned to the raven, seeing his eyes were locked-onto the man who was staring right back at Izaya. There was no expression on the psychiatrist's face, but he was feeling really uneasy about this. Izaya's breathing had increased, and his trembling was back, like the first day he had arrived at the hospital.

Gently, he wrapped his fingers around Izaya's and squeezed back. "What is it?" Shizuo whispered down to Izaya, only loud enough for the raven to hear. Izaya tried to mouth something back, but his trembling made it nearly impossible to read.

"Ah, don't mind me, I'm not going to hurt you," the psychiatrist said as he noticed Izaya's shaking form. "Then again, it's only natural to fear those you do not know. But you don't have to fear me, I'm just here to make sure you're doing alright, mentally-wise." Shizuo really hated this guy already. He sounded too cocky and judgmental, as if he knew everything that was going on. These people made Shizuo want to punch their lights out, especially the people who made Izaya scared like this.

"Tch, what are you, a preacher? Just do your job and get out of here," Shizuo snapped, fire set in his eyes. If this man tried anything, he was going to sever his head. The psychiatrist seemed a little taken-back for a moment, studying Shizuo over. He didn't seem to know who he was. Heh, what a mistake.

"And you might be, whom? No one's supposed to be allowed in a room with a guest in this situation." Oh, so now this man was testing Shizuo? Oh, that was one of the worst mistakes he could make.

"For one, he's a patient dumbass," Shizuo cursed. "And second, I have clearance from the head manager himself. I'm Shizuo Heiwajima." The psychiatrist seemed taken-aback, staring at him with wide eyes. He could see the fear wash over him, and the shame began welling in his heart. Though he was very pleased he was able to make someone like this guy scared of his name.

Izaya seemed to notice the man's reaction, and glanced back up at Shizuo. He looked at Shizuo with sad eyes, as if he could tell this was upsetting him. He had been doing that the whole time they were there, watching, studying Shizuo. Gently, Shizuo could feel a slight squeeze on his hand, which was Izaya's way of saying that he was there, and he needed to calm down.

"Just, please, hurry. I don't want to end up getting anxious... I might start throwing stuff," he lied. He wanted to put a scare into him, and hoped he was doing a good job at it. The psychiatrist gave a fake-annoyed smile before grabbing the clipboard next to the white board and clicking the pen.

"Well, I just have a few questions to ask Izaya."

"It's Mr. Orihara to you," he growled. He didn't know why it mattered so much, the others called him Izaya, but when this man said it, it was in a slur; a slur he wanted to punch out of his voice.

"Fine, Mr. Orihara, I have a few questions I need to ask you, is that okay?" Izaya looked from Shizuo to the doctor, as if he wanted to say something. Shizuo wished Izaya was able to, so he would know this man's secrets, but the raven just nodded.

"Have you had any hallucinations since you've been in here?" Izaya shook his head no, gripping Shizuo's hand a bit more. The psychiatric looked at Shizuo, as if he wanted to confirm it with him. Shizuo wanted to snap at him, but just decided to shake his head as well. He didn't want to lose his temper, not when Izaya was still in here.

"Okay, you obviously have trouble with trust issues, but, have began opening up to someone, I see," the man said, referring to the two of them holding hands. Shizuo didn't like the look on the man's face as he stared at their intertwined fingers, it was as if he was disgusted.

"Of course, I'm practically his brother. I protect him from scum that want to miss-treat him." Shizuo made sure to say that in a strong voice, backed up with his brute strength. The psychiatrist jumped a little, as if he expected to see a chair flying. Why was part of him enjoying this?

"Do you feel any pain? Like needles to the heart, or your thoughts coming at you all at once?" Shizuo felt his blood run-cold, feeling Izaya squeeze Shizuo's hand, and watching him shakingly nod his head.

This seemed to light something in the psychiatrist's eyes, making a huge grin cross his face. "Ahh, I see. What do these thoughts tell you?" Shizuo could feel Izaya trying to scout his body closer to his own, small whimpers and sobs trying their best to mask themselves. He took a glance down, freezing at what he saw. Izaya's eyes were closed, tears flowing down, eyelids trembling as if in pain, and his breathing had increased even more.

"Do they remind you of what happened? Do they remind you of the night your parents were murdered before he took you, the night he first beat you, the night he first destroyed your whole child-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Shizuo screamed, stomping his foot and throwing his hand down on the chair he had been using. The strength created a dent, bending the metal half-way down its original size. He had enough. He wanted this guy out right now, or he would literally kill him. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ANYWAY?" The man was cowering down by now, tripping over his own feet and falling flat on his butt. The monster clenched the chair even harder, bending the metal even more out of shape.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I was just doing my job!" He cried, trying to scout towards the door. Shizuo had no intentions of letting him leave.

Suddenly the door swung open, nearly making Shizuo throw the chair at the new person, but stopped as he saw it was just Celty. She immediately ran in-front of the psychiatrist, waving her arms as if she was trying to calm a horse, showing her phone to Shizuo.

_ 'Calm down Shizuo, whatever he said, he didn't mean it. He was just being human, like you always say.'_

Humans... they really were pathetic. All they caused was pain and sorrow, which is why he was happy being called a monster. Slowly, he took a deep breath, releasing the chair. Celty immediately began writing something else, which Shizuo wasn't interested in.

"Just... get him out of here." Celty didn't even question him or argue, she helped the man up, and escorted him out. The blond waited for them to leave before turning back to Izaya, seeing his trembling-form trying to hide itself in Shizuo's arm. It made him laugh a bit, clearing some dark clouds from his mind.

"You can't hide against my arm silly," he slightly giggled, trying his best to get rid of the anger. Izaya just shook, sobbing even harder. Shizuo really didn't know what to do at this point, Izaya needed him, he was breaking-down.

Without even thinking, he gently slid one arm under his back and pulled him against his chest into a reassuring hug. It hurt his back, as he had to be sure he didn't lift the small body too high off the bed. But once again, he was completely fine with it. The small raven didn't even seem to fight, he seemed too scared to do anything except for cry, so Shizuo sat there with him, crying with him.

He didn't even know when Izaya had fallen asleep, and didn't even remember falling asleep with his head against Izaya's chest...


	7. Chapter 7

SOO SORRYYY for late update! REALLY later, school's been kicking my butt with AP English and IB Film OTL Senior year can be a pain, who knew ddfbiudsbfsd OTL

The next day~

"...Do I want to know what happened?" Shinra's voice slowly broke Shizuo from his dream, allowing him to hazily gaze up at the warmingly-smiling doctor. He had paperwork in his hand and an extra jacket that might have actually been a blanket. He couldn't tell the difference, not when he was half asleep.

"Whaat?" He asked, groaning with a yawn. Shinra smiled even deeper, gazing over at who he'd guess was Izaya.

"Well, I'm assuming you didn't kill someone, Izaya doesn't look traumatized, but what happened to your chair...?"

Ohh, he completely forgot about the chair. In-fact, he didn't even remember pulling it up and sitting on it before falling asleep. Guess he did it unconsciously, he was known for doing that at times. "That guy was a complete jerk ass face." The doctor raised a questioning eyebrow at the combination of cuss-words he used, which was a victory to Shizuo. However, it wasn't until now that he realized his head was resting comfortably on a soft surface; a surface that kept rising and falling. Not only that, but he felt what he'd assume were fingers tangled in his blond hair.

No, he couldn't have possibly fallen asleep on Izaya, could he?! Oh no, oh no, he wanted to go dive in a barrel of acid. But he didn't dare move, fearing he'd awaken Izaya.

"Seems like you know what I'm talking about now," Shinra chuckled quietly as someone entered the room. Shizuo went on high alert, still not wanting to move. But when he saw it was only Celty, he let out a long sigh of relief.

"I thought you'd be that asshole," Shizuo smiled a bit. "Thanks for helping with him yesterday."

Celty nodded, holding up her phone, _'it was no problem at al-_' he couldn't finish reading the message as Celty dropped her phone, her trembling hand remaining as it was. Shizuo was being prepared for anything, jumps, bombs, gunshots, anything. But as none came, he noticed Celty hadn't turned her head; she seemed to be looking straight at Izaya.

Scrambling to her phone she began typing. The blond could only make out a few words, like '_no, that can't be Izaya' _and_ 'it's my fault._' But before Celty could show Shizuo the message, Shinra grabbed the phone out of her hands and threw it in his own pocket.

"S-sorry, have to talk to my darling, be back with you shortly," he nervously laughed, unable to hide that extreme-dark guilt this time. It was just like before, still eating him alive. Shizuo didn't even get to ask what she meant, but the two were gone and away from the window.

Dammit! What the hell was that about? It was technically the first time Celty was able to see him, only he and Shinra were allowed to see him. Had she recalled a memory, perhaps?

Slowly, Shizuo could feel Izaya beginning to stir from his sleep, his small-frail fingers grasping small pieces of his hair and giving them a gentle tug. The brute couldn't help but smile a bit, feeling the playfulness in Izaya's buried spirit. Though, he doubted the little raven knew what he was doing.

Shizuo waited until he heard a puzzled sound vibrate off the raven's throat before even daring to move at all. Slowly, he turned his head so he'd be staring into those wide-rusty-red eyes that stared into his mocha ones with shock. The blond was already imagining himself walking up to the roof and flinging himself off for this, for making Izaya feel uncomfortable.

But these thoughts left him as a blush appeared on Izaya's face, his eyes blinking as if he couldn't believe this was real. "E-ermm, a-are you comfortable?" Izaya shyly asked, though a small smile was unable to remain hidden. Shizuo could feel his own threatening to bleach his own skin, but never looked away from his adorable face.

"Y-yeah," he shyly responded, trying his best to hold back the blush that was resisting his resistance. It must've poked through, as Izaya giggled, GIGGLED slightly at his reaction. Dear god, it was the most beautiful sound he's ever heard! So light and airy, yet heart-ful and just heart-melting.

Oh no, oh no, he could feel his blush deepening, oh god, oh god.

This seemed to make Izaya giggle a bit more, moving his fingers through Shizuo's hair as if he was trying to pet him the same way Shizuo petted his hair. It only made Shizuo smile more, loving the fact that Izaya was the one touching him, which meant he was slowly, yet rapidly breaking his scarred-self.

"I forgot how beautiful your laugh was," Shizuo couldn't help but giggle himself, reaching over and petting Izaya. The raven immediately moved into the hand, letting his face contort in its adorable kitten mode, except that blush remained. Slowly, Izaya's fingers were lost again, numbly resting in the blond's hair comfortably. By now, Shizuo completely forgot about Celty's reaction, which was a good thing, for now. All he cared about right now was Izaya, and only Izaya.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya's small voice uttered, making him snap out of his thoughts and focusing on him.

"Yeah?" Slowly, one of his eyes opened a slit, his smile unwavering.

"Thanks for protecting me from him." All the color drained from Shizuo's face. The word 'him' tossed around his mind like a pinball machine. Him. Him. Him. There was only one person he could possibly be referring to with that, but he just couldn't believe it.

Well, he could, that psychiatrist gave him the living creeps, but that being his kidnapper? Could it have been?

"Wait, was that the old councilor?!" Shizuo exclaimed, jumping up along with his heart. Izaya seemed to tense up at the mention of him, so the blond continued his soothing massage to calm him down a bit.

"N-no," Izaya sniffled, clenching his blankets. "H-he was scary, I didn't like him." Shizuo knew that was only half the truth, and that the little raven was hiding something else, but he didn't get the time to clarify as the door opened again, Celty, Shinra, the manager, and a nurse walking in, rolling a wheel-chair in.

"Morning you two," the manager smiled, being sure to stay as far away as possible. He didn't seem to be afraid of Shizuo, that he could tell, but he was considerate of Izaya and his fear of people; the blond really respected him for it. "Ready to be relieved from here Mr. Orihara?" And that only made Shizuo love him more.

Izaya looked over at Shizuo, seeing the small smile plastered on his lips before nodding. So Shizuo's hunches were right, Izaya looked at him before assessing a question. Oh god, he could feel that blush from earlier trying to resurface.

"For your safety, we also set up a decoy," the manager smiled.

A decoy? A decoy for what, Izaya? "What do you mean?"

"Ever since last night, there have been a few guys here that I must say seem questionable." Shizuo could feel Izaya's hand creep over to his, grasping it as it did last night. The blond quickly clenched his hand back, giving it that gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"So, with the cooperation of my nephew, he'll act as a decoy, and leave first. Once they take their leave, we'll wheel Izaya out on a gurney and into Shinra's car." Shizuo was completely shocked by their planning, and nearly wanted to shake this guy's hand. He was being extra cautious, trying to help protect Izaya with everything he had.

"Your nephew," Izaya began, his voice sounding worried. "He won't get hurt, will he?" The manager seemed to smile at Izaya's worry, and winked at Shizuo. Shizuo knew the manager was proud of him, being able to make Izaya feel a little comfortable now.

"Oh, trust me, I have some of my best private cops traveling with him. He'll be just fine, don't you worry." Izaya couldn't help but give a small smile, gripping Shizuo's hand a bit more. "Now, we ready to get this plan started?"

It was twelve in the afternoon by the time the manager's nephew arrived and they were able to clear the Izaya's hallway for his 'big release'. Thankfully they were able to use the excuse that he feared people at the moment to get everyone off.

"Okay, you ready nephew?" The manager asked as the nurse finished tucking the blanket around his body in the wheel chair. His nephew was around the same size as Izaya, in both height and weight. Shizuo had to admit, it was a pretty good match. They even bought a black wig and styled it to look like Izaya's hair, the outcome was really shocking.

The nephew nodded, giving a thumps up at the real Izaya, who was sitting up on the edge of his bed, feet dangling off. Of course, Shizuo was at his side, just in case he fell.

"Thank you, really," Izaya shyly spoke, squeezing Shizuo's hand slightly.

"It's no problem, it's the least I can do to help," the nephew smiled.

"Now remember to keep your head low the whole time, don't look up no matter what you hear or what someone says, okay?" The nephew just nodded, doing what he was told. The manager looked up at everyone, giving him one last smile.

"Tell Kadota not to meet back at Shinra's house until tonight, when he's sure he's lost them."

"Will do." They changed the plans slightly, having the driver be 'Shinra', when it was really just Kadota driving. His van gang were actually participating in this, even lending their van to the cause. One thing was for sure, they wouldn't let anyone touch their car.

"I wish you guys luck," the manager waved before leaving the room, wheeling out the fake Izaya. Shinra watched through the window until they had disappeared in the elevator before they started their own plan.

"Okay, we better start with our end," Shinra rushed over to the gurney, throwing the white blanket off to reveal the nicely patted bottom. "The manager made sure it was as soft as a bed, but appear to be just another plain-old gurney." Izaya stared at it a bit nervously. Shizuo knew he was excited, but also scared of what might happen. Then again, who wouldn't be? If his kidnapper had friends, as he figured out by Izaya's warnings, he wouldn't be surprised if one of them was shot. But that wasn't going to happen, the only person they'd shoot was him; Shizuo. No one was dieing today.

Gently, he squeezed Izaya's hand, soothing his fingers through the side of Izaya's hair. "Ready?" The raven looked over at him, cautiously leaning against his arm. Shizuo was a bit shocked at first, and so was Shinra. This was the closest Izaya's been to him, with the exception of the awkward hug.

"Y-yeah," he replied, though didn't seem to want to lean-away from Shizuo's side. "You're warm...I love Shizu-chan's warmth." It wasn't until now did the brute feel Izaya's trembles. He was really scared. God-dammit, the blond wanted to take his fears away, guarantee him everything was going to be alright, but he knew Izaya wouldn't listen full-heartidly. He was acting as if this was the last time he'd feel Shizuo's warmth; his body against his.

"I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, understand?" Shizuo sternly said, carefully gripping Izaya's shoulders and pulling him arms-length away. Izaya seemed to tremble even more at the action, but the fight to not scream was present in his rusty eyes. "I swear on my life."

Izaya's eyes swam in his, as his trembling was slowly stopping. "B-but I don't want you to leave me... I don't want you to get hurt, I don't want anyone getting hurt," he sobbed, bringing his small fingers up to his eyes to hide his face. It killed Shizuo seeing Izaya like this, he just wanted to see him laughing, giggling like earlier.

"Don't worry, we know how to take care of ourselves," he giggled, unable to hold back his old habits, and gently kissing Izaya's forehead. The raven seemed to freeze at the action, hands slowly sliding off his face. "We'll be alright." Izaya stared into his mocha eyes, face soft with the faint memory of their old selves, and Shizuo's comforting methods. He could see it playing through his soul, as his trembling came to a complete stop.

"O-okay, Shizu-chan," he smiled. Shizuo then helped him slide off the bed and help him walk towards the gurney. His balance was wobbly, his feet shaking at the applied weight. Though, the wounds had completely sealed up, they were still present. Most on his face had begun to fade away, but his arms had the killer spots. Good thing they gave Izaya a light-long-sleeve white shirt, unless he'd probably cry seeing those scars on his arms.

Carefully, Shizuo helped Izaya onto the gurney, gently tucking him in. He gave Izaya one last smile before folding the blanket on the top of his head. They were taking Izaya out the back-way, as if he had passed away. Celty took the liberty of making her horse form into a funeral car, to make this more believable if there were any spys. Shizuo was actually dressed all in black, along with Shinra, as if they were the drivers and care-takers of the body. They weren't going to mess up; not this time.

They managed to make their way off Izaya's floor and rolled the body through the ground floor. Many people went silent at the sight, some even taking their hats off and bowing. They could see some of the suspicious guys, that the manager mentioned earlier, but they didn't even seem to suspect them as they rolled by; they were too concentrated on the crowd that was surrounding the van gang as they loaded 'Izaya' in the back.

No one stopped them as they went through the back doors, seeing Celty and her horse Shooter waiting for them. Carefully, Shizuo lifted the gurney in the back of the funeral car and closed the doors. It was hard for him not to run into the car so he could reassure Izaya that he was there.

Both of them slipped into their seats, Shinra driving, and went on their way. When they were sure they were away from the hospital and Celty confirmed they weren't being followed, they pulled into a alley when there were hardly any cars. Shooter then formed into a large van, though different from Kadota's gang van. It had just enough room for Izaya's gurney to be stored, and a seat back there for Shizuo.

"Finally," the blond sighed, climbing to the back and taking the seat. Celty then took the front-passenger seat, and they were off again. Unfortunately for the blond, he couldn't take the blanket off the Izaya's head, with fears of someone seeing through the windows. So he whispered to Izaya, telling him to hang-on a little bit longer.

Fifteen minutes later, they finally pulled into Shinra's parking garage, and waiting for the door to close all the way before stepping out. Shizuo then wasted no time pulling the blanket off Izaya, smiling down at the half-asleep raven.

"Well, we made it!" He sighed, running his fingers through Izaya's hair. "And with no disturbances." Izaya couldn't help but smile, leaning into the hand.

"Thanks, everyone," he softly spoke, his hand gently reaching up an touching Shizuo's arm. "Shizu-chan's still warm, it's not a dream, it's not a dream." Oh god, that nearly broke the blond's heart. He probably had so many dreams during those ten years of someone saving him, but it just never happened. Without even realizing it, he scooped Izaya up and out of the gurney, cradling him close to his chest. Izaya's eyes went wide in fear at first, his body going stiff. Shizuo immediately mentally punched himself in the face, laying a soft kiss on his forehead.

"It's okay, it's just me," he soothed, nuzzling his nose in that raven-silk in attempt to 'pet' him, like he always did. At least it seemed to do something, as Izaya began calming down a bit. "I want you to feel my warmth, to know that I'm real, and that this is real."


	8. Chapter 8

"It's okay, it's just me," he soothed, nuzzling his nose in that raven-silk in attempt to 'pet' him, like he always did. At least it seemed to do something, as Izaya began calming down a bit. "I want you to feel my warmth, to know that I'm real, and that this is real."

Izaya's eyes began to water, a soft smile crossing his face. "Shizu... Shizu-" he didn't get to finish as Celty and Shinra opened the back door. They seemed shocked with the way Shizuo was carrying Izaya, but said nothing. The blond just smiled at them, exiting Shooter with Izaya securely in his arms.

"Well, that went just as smooth as expected," Shinra winked, crossing his arms with a triumped smile. "How you feeling by the way? Anything hurt?"

Izaya looked away shyly. It was obvious he still wasn't used to having the doctor around, but that was understandable. It would just take time, and they were all willing to give it.

"W-well..." he trailed off, his voice getting even fainter. Shizuo couldn't help but frown in worry. If he was this silent about it, he was probably ashamed of something hurting. Ahhh.

"My head really hurts... and my arms burn... a-and..." Izaya's voice went so low that not even Shizuo's acute hearing could pick-up what he was saying, but got the picture. He looked urgently up at Shinra, who nodded in understanding.

"I have some pain killers and ointment upstairs," the doctor noticed to the elevator. "As for the headache, you need to stay hydrated." The young doctor blabbed on about other things, but Shizuo had tuned him out completely. He was more content on the small raven, who seemed to be having a slight hard-time breathing. It was probably due to all the stress leaving his body, as all that adrenaline from escaping the hospital was still seeping out of the blond. He was also probably really tired, as his eyes rested closed despite his small trembles.

_ 'I won't let them take you, not again,'_ Shizuo swore, cautiously tightening his grip around the small raven. Shinra then led them up the elevator and into his house. It was the same as always, spaciest, clean, and large; the exact opposite of Shizuo's house. And even though Shizuo liked his home better, this was a lot safer for Izaya. People who wanted to pick fights would often wait for Shizuo at his house, and if they found Izaya there...

"We have a lot of extra rooms in the house since I'm an underground doctor, but from here on out, this place will only be reserved for Izaya," Shinra reassured the group, leading them deeper into his house. Shizuo didn't remember it being this big, then again, he didn't exactly go wondering around in the first place.

"So, with that said, this will be Izaya's room!" Shinra proudly smiled, opening the door in-front of them. Izaya turned his head, eyes widening instantly at what he saw. It was large, about the size of a master bedroom. Shizuo's mouth nearly dropped open, seeing a beautiful and tranquil water fountain on one side, that soothing sound of trickling water welcoming his ears. It didn't take up too much room, neighboring the closet door, but it was soothing nonetheless. On the left side of the room, there was his own personal bathroom that also seemed large, and a king-size bed.

"What do you think?" Shinra asked, seeming quite proud of himself. Izaya opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out were more sobs.

"I-I, this can't be for me, can it?" He cried, not believing this for a minute.

"Of course it is, ANDD, here's the best part!" Shinra winked, going over to the closet door next to the fountain and opened it, revealing a walk-in closet. Shizuo raised a questioning eyebrow, not seeming to see where he was going with this. Not that it wasn't impressive or anything, Shizuo wished he had a walk-in closet, but why did Shinra think Izaya would care?

"I know Shizuo's not gonna want to leave you alone, making every excuse he can to stay over, so Celty and I did some remodeling! Which I have to say, I fancy. We connected your closets together!" Shinra then opened the other door, revealing yet another walk-in closet that belonged to another bedroom. Both Shizuo and Izaya were stunned, not even knowing what to think about it. They were lost for words, and Shinra seemed quite proud.

"Though, we were thinking of getting rid of Izaya's door and plastering it with wall, so the only way into his room is through Shizuo's door. And even then, they'd have to come through the secrete door in the closet, which is of course camouflaged. The remodeling will, of course take place once Izaya's serious wounds are healed. I didn't want to risk anything."

Okay, now Shizuo's jaw was nearly hitting the ground. The doctor had really thought of everything! He would be so hysteric if Shinra made the entrance through his room, so he could be sure whoever tried to get Izaya had to go through him.

"I don't even know what to say," Shizuo honestly spoke, slowly making his way over to Izaya's bed. "It's like you thought of everything."

"Well, you know, I am a doctor and all, and my dear Celty came up with the whole closet door thing," he began bragging, which Shizuo just blew off. He carefully placed Izaya down on the bed, who immediately gasped. It made Shizuo and Shinra immediately turn, worried that Shizuo accidentally made some of his wounds hurt.

"I-Izaya?" Shizuo gulped as Shinra quickly stumbled over towards the door. However, he stopped himself, realizing Izaya's expression wasn't grave at all. It was contorted with a smile.

"... This blanket... is soooo soofftt," he hummed, grasping it with his small fingers. He looked so at peace, so happy, Shizuo and Shinra couldn't help but laugh. That was right, it had to of been ages since he last slept in a real, comfortable bed. Before it could bring any dark thoughts to Shizuo's mind, he began running his fingers through Izaya's hair again. "You deserve only the best."

"Yes indeed," Shinra nodded. "I'll go retrieve the medicine in the next room, don't move too much." And with that, Shinra proceeded out the door. Shizuo was still caught in fascination, at everything the doctor and Celty had done for the boy. He knew Shinra was a good person, but willing to completely remodel his home like this? There had to be some kind of catch, right? Then again, this was Shinra, he hardly asked for anything in return.

Wait... Shinra and Celty were acting weird back at the hospital, he remembered now. The text said something about it being her fault, but that wouldn't make any sense. All of them didn't listen to Izaya back then, because they were all tricked; it was all their faults. She could have been blaming herself for everything, wouldn't be the first time.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya's voice suddenly ran to his ears, making the blond revert his attention to the exhausted looking raven below him. He seemed more out of it then earlier, sweat slowly pouring down the side of his face. Shizuo's protective instincts quickly sunk-in, collapsing at his bed-side to be eye-level with him. It made him jump slightly, but he seemed too out of it to really care.

"What's wrong?" He quickly asked, moving his hand to Izaya's forehead. The raven stiffened a little bit, obviously not used to being touched, but Shizuo didn't exactly care at the moment, especially when Shizuo's hand suddenly went hot.

"You're running a fever!" Shizuo cried. He didn't know why neither he or Shinra didn't see it before. Dammit! He felt so stupid! A fever was never good, but with Izaya's body in such a state, who knows what it could do to him. Somehow, Shizuo needed to get this fever down.

"Wait here, I'm gonna ge-" Shizuo stopped in mid-sentence, feeling a weak hand suddenly grab his wrist. He wasn't even completely off the floor yet, how did Izaya do that?

"N-no, please..." Izaya's soft voice whispered, making Shizuo look down at Izaya. His sweaty hair was glued to his face, hiding his eyes behind the black locks that hung off his pale face. The sight scared Shizuo, Izaya literally resembled a ghost.

"Please... just, stay with me." His heart was full of overwhelming fear to the point where he couldn't even swallow, but hearing him beg with him created this conflict within him. It wouldn't do any good if Izaya remained here with a fever, and it wouldn't do any good if Shizuo left Izaya either. He just convinced the raven to trust him once more, and he didn't want to mess this up.

"I-I won't," he struggled to say, giving him a small, reassuring smile. This seemed to calm the raven down a bit, as he sighed in relief.

"I... I don't want to be left alone..." Even though the words were so soft and whispered, Shizuo heard each and every syllable. He didn't know what to do, how could he help calm Izaya down when he wasn't used to the close-contact? He felt so useless, just like he had been so useless years ago, when he was taken from his life.

No, he wasn't going to think about that, not again. Izaya was his baby boy, and he was the only one that could calm him. Gently reaching forward, he ran his fingers soothingly through his hair once more, but this time with softer strokes. It seemed like it wasn't working at first, as his breaths continued to be drawn-out, but slowly Izaya began easing against Shizuo's arm. The blond was a bit shocked, but decided not to question it. If only Izaya wasn't sick and in pain at the moment, he would wish this could last forever.

_'What can I do Izaya?'_ His thoughts trailed off into more worry. The more he pet Izaya, the more he was aware of the heat slowly warming his own hand.

"Here we go," Shinra smiled as he trotted back into the room, hands full of a medicine bottles and packages. Shizuo wasn't expecting Shinra to be back so soon, and was more then glad for his sudden appearance. Then again, this was his home, of course it wasn't going to take a long time to retrieve medicine. Dammit, he was so worried about Izaya he was making himself blind.

"His fever's pretty bad," Shizuo reported, slowly scouting away from the raven to give the doctor some space. Izaya looked at him, as if to ask to stay, but didn't. His now downcast look tempted the blond though.

Shinra reached up, pressing his own hand to his forehead. "Wow, I'm surprised you're still awake!" The doctor tried to praise, searching through the pile of bottles and picking one up that rattled with pills. "Usually fevers make you really tired. - Ah, can you get a cup of water Shizuo?" Shizuo immediately hopped up and headed to the kitchen. He didn't even want to look back at Izaya, fearing what his expression would be. Right now, all that mattered was getting his fever down.

Reaching into the cabinet, he brought out a tall glass cup and filled it with iced-cold water. He remembered the raven always had to have ice in his water, unless he'd hardly drink any of it. He was always so picky.

Going back into the room, he noticed Izaya's face brightened a bit seeing him enter. "Here you go, nice cold water." Shinra smiled, taking it from him and extending some pills out to the raven first.

"Here." Izaya seemed to look at the pills a bit wearily, glancing up at Shizuo in worry. This was the second time he caught a glimpse of the raven looking to him for approval. He felt touched.

"Go ahead, it'll help," Shizuo smiled. Izaya nodded then, taking the pills from the doctor and forcing them into his mouth. Shinra then handed him the water, in which he gulped down quite gladly.

"Thanks Shinra," Izaya warmly smiled. Shizuo couldn't help but go over to him and caress his hair once more.

"Nah, it's the least I can do. The medicine should start working in a few minutes, so, who's hungry? We need to start putting meat on Izaya's bones." As if on-cue, Shizuo's stomach growled, like a wolf who had been starving to death.

"HAHA, that's a yes from me!" He laughed, rubbing his tummy before gazing down at Izaya. "What about you?" The raven smiled shyly, nodding. He kept his gaze to the bed, his hair in the way so the others couldn't see. Shizuo deduced it was because he felt bad. First they got him out of the hospital where other people risked their lives for him, Shinra and Celty built him this nice room with a safety measure, and now they were going to feed him, like real people did. It was probably too much for him to take-in all at once.

"So, what you guys hungry for? It's all on me! - And since Celty's busy checking on the van gang, we'll just order take-out." Shizuo instinctively ran his hand smoother through Izaya's hair, but frowned, seeing how he wasn't leaning into it anymore. God-dammit.

"I don't care what it is, as long as it's editable. What do you want Izaya?" Shizuo asked, leaning down to match Izaya's height. Izaya slowly looked over at Shizuo, his hair still lingering in his face. The blond could clearly see the sadness swollen in those eyes, that could've been guilt too. It was nearly impossible to tell with Izaya.

"Wh-what?" Izaya asked, as if hadn't heard the question.

"What do you want to eat?"

Izaya seemed shocked at the question, eyes widening. "M-me?" Shizuo nodded, being sure his smile didn't waver. The raven stared at Shizuo, as if the question didn't make sense to him, but that wouldn't make any sense.

"Of course, we want you to chose."

"Me? Ch-chose?" Izaya's voice trembled. "I-I, can chose?" The question took both Shizuo and Shinra back a moment, staring at Izaya with fear. Had they really destroyed that much of his reasoning? They assumed they did take away his reasoning to disobey, but not being able to chose something...

"Yep, whatever you want," Shinra finally found his voice, giving him an encouraging smile. But Izaya seemed too puzzled by the new reality he was given; the reality where he could chose things for himself.

"Me... chose...?" He mumbled to himself, clenching Shizuo's hand rather unconsciously. The blond didn't mind, it made him gently push Izaya's small body against his, laying a small kiss on the top of his head.

"How about ootoro? I know how much you love that."

Izaya's breath hitched for a moment, those big eyes looking up at Shizuo. "Ootoro? I-I can really have, ootoro?"

Shizuo nodded, "Yep, anything, really."

Izaya's eyes starting watering again, the mere thought of the sushi putting him in a daze. "Oottoorooo..."

"I'll order some now," Shinra smiled, turning to leave, but stopped. "Oh, if you want to help him take a bath, you can. They're usually busy at these hours." Shizuo felt his heart skip a beat hearing that. Him, help give Izaya a bath? Would the raven be okay with that? "We need to get that dirt off, and he only really trusts you." Yeahh, Shizuo knew Shinra was doing that on purpose. The bubbling doctor had always done that when he was with Izaya, especially when they were little.

"W-would that be okay, Izaya?" Shizuo asked. He wanted to be sure Izaya was okay with it. The raven wouldn't be able to take a bath by himself, his wounds would sting if he moved too quickly or at a strange angle; he could hardly walk as it was.

Izaya just nodded, closing his eyes as if he was taking-in Shizuo's warmth. "I'll tell yeah when the food gets here!" And Shinra was off, leaving the two alone. Shizuo knew Shinra was just saying the food would be late; he was probably gonna call and order in about ten minutes. Stupid Shinra, he was so lucky he had done all this for Izaya.

"Soo, lets go," Shizuo warmly smiled, gently picking him and carrying him to the bathroom. The little raven didn't even protest this time, not seeming to be scared.

Seeing how he'd have to turn the water on, he set the raven on the sink so he could lean against the mirror. "Start taking your cloths off while I get the warm water working." Izaya seemed to be terrified for a moment, staring at the blond with trembling eyes. The look within them scared him; no doubt his kidnapper's doing.

"Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you," he gently soothed, running his fingers through his hair. "I'd rather kill myself then even think of that." It took Izaya a few minutes, but he finally nodded and began undoing his shirt buttons. Shizuo couldn't help but sigh in relief, turning to the tub and putting the water on warm. It took a while for the water to heat-up, which was better so Izaya could take his time. It was hard not turning around, as he heard the small teen whimpering as he tried struggling out of the shirt. It got to the point where Shizuo got up and helped him slip it off; then he understood why... through the mirror, the blond could see what looked like whip marks; over three deep slashes that were slowly healing on his back. And on his arms were long, deep cuts zigzagging in a lot of different directions, with a severe looking burn-mark on one of his shoulders. It was bruised over pretty badly, the skin there nearly all black. The doctors at the hospital thought he was healing quickly? Hell no. If he had been healing quickly, half of these would already be gone!

God, he wished he hadn't seen them. He turned away and began filling the tub up once it was warm enough. He then applied some soap into the water, making bubbles surface the water instantly. He knew how much Izaya loved bubbles when they were little.

"There we go," he smiled, turning back to Izaya. The small raven's eyes were focused on the bubbles, a small smile forming at the corners of his mouth. "I remembered the bubbles."

"Bub...bles..." Izaya repeated, still shocked at what he was seeing. Shizuo couldn't help but smirk, carefully picking him back up and placing him in the tub. It was hard listening to the small hissing as the water hit Izaya's wounds, but as he set him down, they seemed to fade. He was thankful for that, he didn't know how he'd be able to stomach giving him a bath when he was in obvious pain.

"Is the water warm enough?" Shizuo asked, only receiving a small nod. At least it was better then no response, he guessed.

"Bubbles," Izaya said again, cuffing some in his hands, staring at them with curious eyes. "I love bubbles... they're so soft, yet not. They're like big clouds." Shizuo couldn't help but smirk at his fascination, taking some in his own hands.

"Yeah, they are huh? Or like big bears, or mash-potatoes, or icecream." Yeah, he was obviously hungry, his mouth nearly watering a bit. It only made Izaya giggle a bit, looking at the bubbles more closely in his hands. Shizuo looked at the ones in his hands, and smirked.

"Do you remember the old game we'd play?" He asked, making Izaya look up at him with his head slightly tilted. "It got us cleaner faster." Izaya tiled his head a bit more, not seeming to remember. It made Shizuo smirk, bringing his hands closer to his face. The raven's eyes widened, seeming to remember, but was too late as Shizuo blew the bubbles in his face.

"Shi-Shizu-chaaannnn," he whimpered, wiping the bubbles off his face. The blond was afraid he made Izaya mad, but Izaya just giggled, a smile unwavering. "You cheeaatterrrrr." Shizuo watched, unable to stop laughing at how adorable Izaya sounded when he whined, as Izaya blew his own bubbles at Shizuo. The blond didn't even bother moving, getting some in his mouth, but really didn't care.

"Tastes like strawberry," Shizuo smiled, licking his lips. He loved sweet things, which included strawberries. He managed to get Izaya to like them too, before he went missing.

"It does?" He asked, tilting his head and trying some. Shizuo just laughed even harder, watching Izaya's expression change before spitting it out.

"Little more soapy then strawberry, right?" Izaya nodded, giving a sour look before carefully dunking his hand into the water to wipe the bubbles on his face away, but Shizuo beat him to it, gently brushing the bubbles away with the side of his hand. Izaya froze, eyes slowly looking up into Shizuo's. The blond felt a blush rush to his face, unable to even hold it back. He didn't even mean to- his hand just did it without him even thinking.

"Y-you had some bubbles... on your cheek," he shyly mumbled, pulling his hand away and grabbing the bucket from the side of the tub. He could see a small blush form on Izaya's face, and tried his best to dismiss it. "E-erm, we better hurry, before, food..." He couldn't even finish. Izaya just nodded, though not saying anything; he was probably too embarrassed or something.

Shizuo filled the small bucket up with water from the facet, seeing through the bubbles, crusted blood drifting on the surface. He'd have to try really hard not to start freaking out. He had to remember, Izaya wasn't in any immediate danger, not until he started freaking out; and he wasn't going to.

"Close your eyes," he ordered Izaya, lifting the small bucket over Izaya's head. The raven did what he was told, and flinched a bit when he dumped the water on his hair. It didn't seem to do much but run off the ends of his hair; he'd have to take a different approach; a motherly approach.

Filling the bucket back up, he slowly began pouring it on Izaya's head, running his fingers through that faded, silky hair to spread the water all around. It seemed to work that time, as his hair was completely soaked.

"I-I can do this myself-"

"No," Shizuo cut the small boy off, picking up the shampoo bottle and making sure to look at Izaya seriously, but still lovingly. "You'll hurt your back wounds, so I'll do it until they're healed." Izaya wanted to protest, but didn't get the chance as Shizuo squeezed the contents in his hands and running it through the raven's hair. Izaya let out a small squeak at first, as the blond made sure to really press hard to get anything in his hair out. He felt bad, but it had to be done.

"Sorryy, just want to be sure I get all the junk out of your hair," he made known, pressing down harder, but being sure there weren't any wounds on his head he'd disturb. When he was sure he had done a good enough job, he turned the facet back on and washed his hands off. It was a good thing he didn't fill the tub up that much, unless I'd be overflowing by now.

Picking up the bucket, he refilled it and brought it above Izaya's head. "Gonna do a rinse now, cover your eyes." Izaya did what he was told once again, and Shizuo slowly spilled the water over his head. He made sure to run his fingers through the raven hair, being sure to get every inch so no soap would dare drip into his eyes.

"Okay, wipe your face with this." The blond handed Izaya a rag, who immediately began drying his face and soap away so they wouldn't make his eyes sore. Shizuo then grabbed the conditioner, and repeated the whole process. The two of them didn't talk during this time, mostly because Shizuo knew this hurt Izaya, re-awakening all the wounds that had been slumbering, hissing at the water and soap that wanted to clean them from bacteria. At least it was almost over, but now he was at the worst part; washing his body.

Shizuo let the water drain and putting the shower-head on. It was easier to wash his body with the shower, and Izaya wouldn't have to be dyed a red color due to the blood that was in the water. "You're gonna smell like strawberries and lemons, I think," the blond half-heartily giggled, squeezing some in Izaya's hand as well as his own. He was going to do the spots that hurt Izaya, as the teen was probably uncomfortable, which Shizuo completely understood. He couldn't do everything for the raven.

Izaya was able to get his legs, arms and chest, with only small hisses, but wouldn't let Shizuo touch him; he wanted to be able to do this himself. But when it came to his back, that's where he was defeated. And Shizuo feared doing it. God-dammit; but he had to.

"This'll sting... sorry," he apologized, gently ghosting his hand down his back. He was trying his best to steer-clear of the whip-wounds, but every-time Izaya whimpered and whined, he knew he was utterly failing. The soap was burning, but also cleaning the slashes. Shizuo's hand was painted red and black by the time he was half-finished, and Izaya was crying.

"Shhh shhhh," Shizuo gently soothed, "I'm almost done, I'm almost done..." Those minutes took Shizuo into a living hell, as he watched him jump, twist, listening to those cries and whimpers. He wanted to just take up that old gun and shoot himself at the moment, but he continued. He didn't let himself stop until all the crusted blood was gone.

And now, finally, after probably around fifteen minutes of endurement, Izaya's pale-skin was finally shining through. Izaya then stepped into the water, and allowed it to sweep all the soap off his body. Shizuo was so relieved when Izaya stepped out of the tub and let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. The blond quickly gave Izaya a towel and wrapped it around his small body.

Now that Izaya was able to actually stand, Shizuo realized Izaya came up mid-way to his chest. He knew he was tall, but for a eight-teen year-old, that was pretty short. But he didn't care about that. Snapping out of his thoughts, he noticed Izaya's breathing had become irregular again, and his body was swaying back and forth. Izaya was trying his best to steady himself, but at this rate, he'd fall-over.

"A-ahh, I've got you," Shizuo blushed as he gently pulled Izaya towards him, allowing his body to lean against his for support. Izaya seemed shocked by this, as his breathing stopped. Yet, just as quickly, his breathing steadied, as he was trying to calm himself a bit.

"S-sorry, Shizu-chan," Izaya's shaky voice cried, surprising the blond. Sorry? What was he sorry for? "I-I'm sorry I'm so needy, I'm sorry I can't do anything by myself."

Oh, now he understood. Izaya felt useless, worthless; a burden. God, just knowing Izaya was feeling that way hurt him. Why was the raven's sad-feelings effecting him so much?

Slowly, he held Izaya's shoulders and sat on his knees, looking straight into Izaya's eyes. "Listen, you're never a burden on me, _EVER_." He made sure to say that nice and slow, and with a stern voice. Though, that was really hard when the shivering Izaya was cutely holding the ends of the towel up to his lips.

"B-but you could be doing so many others things-"

"No, no I wouldn't," Shizuo honestly said, pressing his forehead to Izaya's. The close contact seemed to make Izaya a bit uneasy, but Shizuo made sure he held firm. "I'd just be missing you more." Shizuo stared at Izaya's mouth drooping open slightly at the response. He didn't seem to know what to say, and when he seemed to say something, Shinra walked in, smiling upon the scene.

"Food's here! Hurry and get dressed, I left some cloths on the bed for you Izaya," he smiled before leaving. Shizuo shook his head in annoyance; that doctor, always ruining the moment.

"Well, we better get you ready."


	9. Chapter 9

Shizuo helped walk Izaya back over to his bed, as the little raven wanted to try walking himself. He was doing pretty well, but Shizuo could tell his wounds were really hurting him. His body was so stiff, each step made him look like some kind of robot. His arms were glued to his sides, as if moving them to any extend would make the pain shoot through him again.

And Shizuo couldn't do anything to help. He didn't have any super powers. He couldn't heal Izaya so he couldn't feel pain anymore. He was useless, and that was it.

_'I wish I could do more for you...'_

They found the cloths on the bed like Shinra promised, and Shizuo was rather baffled at what they found. It was a nightgown; a woman's nightgown. It resembled the ones old ladies in a care-centers would wear. But what the heck were they supposed to do with that?

"Maybe... Shinra grabbed the wrong set of cloths?" He proposed, looking down at Izaya. His body was really swaying now to the point where Shizuo was tempted to place a hand on his shoulder to keep him aloft. However, he decided against it, knowing Izaya still wasn't comfortable with close contact.

"But i-it's-" Suddenly, Izaya's body give out, giving Shizuo only seconds to quickly grasp him before he could fully hit the floor. If he was falling unconscious, a concussion on top of all his other injuries wasn't going to help at all. And besides, he wasn't going to let Izaya fall; ever.

"Izaya?" He called out in pure urgency. He was hoping Izaya was just having a small pain attack, and that was it; but when was anything ever that simple. His heart only raced more, realizing Izaya's breathing was really bad; worse then its been since they first found him. What scared Shizuo the most was the fact that Izaya's body was trembling so bad he didn't even know how he could hold the towel up.

"Shinra!" Shizuo yelled, gently lowering Izaya so he could lay on the floor, but not on his back. He's learned from his bartending job to always keep their bodies still until a medic arrived. But even though he was calm on the surface, he was a complete wreck on the inside.

_'Oh god, oh god,'_ his thoughts were racing, his blood was freezing, his heart was stopping. He didn't know what to do. Izaya's breathing was hoarse, as if he was choking on nails or something. His body was trembling like he was exposed and trapped in Alaska during the winter. Shizuo wasn't a doctor, he had no idea what he could do.  
"I'm sorrry, I'm sorryyy," he cried, running the comforting massage through Izaya's wet-raven hair that he loved. That was something, right? He was helping, right? - No, to help, he needed to calm down. He wasn't freaking out, right?

Ha-no. He was freaking out, he was definitely freaking out.

"What hurts?" He tried to ask in his soothing voice. He nearly failed, if it wasn't for how determined he was.

"E-everything, h-urttss," he choked back, pulling the towel closer to his body. "I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I-I really tried," he sobbed, the tears streaming down his face nearly endlessly. "I-I really tried, to keep the pain h-hidden, b-but, I-I just couldn't! D-don't hate me, p-please! I-I'll do better, p-promise!"

Shizuo's eyes were wide, completely frozen in place. His whole world seemed to have gone silent, only focusing on the shaking body in his arms. Izaya was that scared? Scared Shizuo would hate him for letting feeling pain? What? Did his kidnapper beat him whenever he was in this state?

God no, no. He could feel the fear creeping, and anxiety and adrenaline. But in this situation, he had no idea what he could do to help. Nothing, whatsoever. Wait, didn't he already realize he could do nothing? Dammit, his mind was really messed up. Nothing was making sense anymore.

Think. Think Think.

He could try to keep those thoughts out of Izaya's head; he remembered Izaya telling the psychiatrist his head went against him, telling him things that were terrible.

"There's nothing you could ever do that would make me hate you," Shizuo's voice cracked, tears falling down his face in utter defeat. "No-nothing, you hear me?" His body began trembling with Izaya's, which seemed to shock the raven. But Shizuo didn't pay much attention to the raven's reaction to him, his head was too filled with running thoughts they were colliding with one another.

"You could brutally murder me, and I still wouldn't hate you. Not that you would do that, but, that's how I see it," he honestly spoke, now looking at Izaya. The raven's eyes were opened, though forcing themselves to stay opened. Tears were coming out of his eyes, ones that weren't full of pain.

"Shi-Shizu-channn," he cried, forcing his hand to grip Shizuo's. Shizuo quickly gripped Izaya's back, softly. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't meant to-" he stopped himself, his eyes forcing themselves closed. He was letting out more whimpers now, seeming unable to avoid the pain any longer. It wasn't a moment later when Shinra literally slid to Izaya's side, putting a hand to his forehead.

"He isn't running a fever anymore, it's probably pain due to the wounds being properly cleaned out. I'll give him some fast-working pain medicine," Shinra acknowledged, slipping the bottle from his pocket. Shizuo was glad Shinra always came prepared, and only seconds later, came Celty with a cup of water.

"What about his breathing? It's been doing that since we first found him," Shizuo asked in a completely un-composed voice. It seemed to shock the doctor, but he quickly pushed passed it.

"It's obvious by the sound of it that he has a serious case of asthma. The hospital already placed an order under my name for an inhaler. Should be here tomorrow." The blond just nodded, helping Izaya sit up a bit.

"We have some medicine to help, so please, swallow it," Shinra's loving voice spoke as he slipped the pill into Izaya's barely parted lips. "And here comes some water." The doctor tilted the small cup and allowed some water to flow down his throat, taking the pill with it.

It was only a minute later when Izaya slowly began calming down, allowing his body to rest against Shizuo's leg and chest. Shinra was sure to stay with them until the pill began working, which was only five minutes later.

Slowly, Izaya was letting his eyes open again, staring blankly at the carpet and his hand intertwined with Shizuo's. It seemed like Izaya had no idea what he was doing until now, as he stared at it questioningly, but didn't seem to mind.

"How you feeling Izaya?" Shinra asked. Izaya slowly looked over at Shinra, seeming to be lost.

"Does anything still hurt?" Shizuo asked. Izaya then looked up at Shizuo, head hitting his chest and staying there. He looked really out of it, and they were beginning to get worried before he gave a soft smile.

"No... nothing." His voice sounded shocked, as if he thought this was all just a dream. Shizuo couldn't help but press his lips against the raven's forehead, only a few stray tears falling from his eyes.

"That's good, I'm glad."

"Now, you have to eat unless you'll get sick from that pill." Both Izaya and Shizuo looked over at the doctor, confused. Shinra seemed to giggle slightly at the two of them, as they had done it in-sync.

"You can't take that on a empty stomach, unless it'll upset it." Izaya just nodded, as if he knew. Then again, after all the drugs he must've been forced on, he probably knew from experience.

"Are you okay enough to eat?" Shizuo asked, only now noticing that Izaya was only covered to his waist. Ahh, he didn't want him to catch a cold. "We better get you changed, or you might catch a cold."

"Actually, did you know that you can't catch a cold because of the temperature?" Shinra butted in, though it really shocked Shizuo. Okay, that was just weird. Wasn't that how colds were formed?

Actually, he found it was better to just not ask. Shizuo found it a good idea, as Celty handed him the dress. It was then he looked up at Shinra with baffled eyes. "A dress? Really? Why the hell would you give Izaya a dress? He's a boy."

Shinra couldn't help but burst into laughter, nearly falling over. It irritated Shizuo more then anything, wanting to know what was so funny. "Dresses are loose, and with all the wounds on his body, it would hurt them less."

Oh... Shizuo remembered when they first found him, all he wore was a long-sleeve shirt that acted like a mini-dress. It made sense, especially if it caused as less pain as possible.

Shinra stayed and helped Shizuo dress Izaya. Shizuo held him in-place, like always, as Shinra slipped the dress on him. It wasn't hard at all, and Izaya seemed very comfortable, though the sleeves were a bit too long; they nearly ate his hands whole.

"How does it feel?" Shinra asked, though Shizuo had a feeling there was more to this then he thought.

"Feels like a blankie," he smiled back, bringing the sleeves up to his mouth. It seemed to be a habit of his, and man was it adorable.

"Good, I chose well! And the color suits you well too," Shinra winked, making Izaya blush a bit. It was a gown of black, though in some places white such as the collar, the bottom trim, and waist. He really seemed to like it.

"Now lets go eat before your tummy starts throwing fire-balls at us."

Shizuo carried Izaya down the hall so they wouldn't have to extend the limits of the medicine's numbing capabilities. But as soon as they entered the kitchen, the smell of sushi alerted their senses, bringing smiles to their faces. It smelled so good, even though sushi had a faint scent. It even made Izaya gently lick his lips, which Shizuo saw at the corner of his eye. It was so freakin adorable he couldn't help but give him a small kiss on the forehead again.

"Ootoro, just for you!" Shizuo smiled. Izaya looked up at him, giggling softly and leaning against his chest more.

"Do you like ootoro, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked, his smile wavering a bit. Shizuo quickly laughed, knowing Izaya was beginning to feel guilty; again. He'd be sure to quiet the raven's thoughts; at some point.

"Of course, we used to have ootoro eating contests, remember?" Shizuo asked, giving him a small smirk. "There was even a time you beat ME! I still can't bring myself to believe that." Izaya just giggled softly, grasping onto Shizuo's shirt with his small fingers.

"Neee, lets not do that this time."

"Yeah," the blond chuckled, remembering how both of them got ill after it. He didn't want to risk that this time.

Shinra brought up a chair for Izaya, and Shizuo gently set him down in it. Like a gentlemen, he slowly pushed the chair back in, giving the raven's hair a slight pet before taking the seat right next to him. Celty then brought the boxes of ootoro around, serving Izaya first, then Shizuo.

"Thank you," Izaya bowed in his seat before his mouth began watering, eying the sushi. Shizuo could swear there were stars in the raven's eyes, nearly making him laugh.

"Go ahead, eat," Shinra smiled from the opposite end of the table. He was seated next to Celty, who were both watching Izaya. They wanted to see Izaya's first bite-reaction, and so did Shizuo. It made the raven a bit nervous, but he just smiled, picking up the chop-sticks and grabbing the first piece. As soon as Izaya took that first bite, his eyes went wide, and mouth curved. The three adults were at the edge of their seats, as Izaya gently pushed the rest of the sushi in his mouth, chewing with a heavenly look.

"It's... it's... soooo goooodddd," he hummed, happily taking another piece from his small plate and eating it. The three of them nearly melted, his adorable face and reactions being too much for them to handle.

"Still like ootoro?" Izaya turned to Shizuo and nodded, his face full of happiness.

"Is, is this heaven?" He asked with a semi-serious face, making their blood run cold. They understood what he meant, but the thought caught all of them in a twist. What if they had never gotten Izaya back? What if they had gotten there too late? So many things could've happened, and honestly, they didn't know if they would've been able to handle that. But he was happy, and they wished to keep it this way.

"No, but it's close enough," Shizuo smiled, reaching over and wiping some stray pieces of rice off Izaya's cheek. The raven froze, watching Shizuo's hand for a moment before giggling again.

"I-I'm messy, I guess," he hiccuped, taking another piece of sushi and nibbling it. Ootoro seemed to make him so happy, he was nearly drunk! But Shizuo loved him this way. His smile was natural, unwavering. It was way better then seeing him how he was before. He loved it, loved seeing Izaya so full of life; like in the old days.

_'I'll bring __you back, the old you, prom__ise,'_ Shizuo swore to himself before working on his own food. He hadn't had ootoro himself since the last time he and Izaya had it together. The sushi, and really all sushi reminded him of the raven, so he just didn't eat it.

"Oh yeah, Celty said Kadota and the manager made it to the checkpoint safely. There were a lot of people following them, but were shocked to see Izaya wasn't in the car. I think we've given them the slip for a while," Shinra informed them, taking a bite of his own ootoro. Izaya looked up from his plate, letting out a huge sigh of relief he must've been holding-in this whole time. "Kadota wanted to visit you, but he's gonna have a wait a little bit; just until the strange people stop spying on him."

"That's good," Izaya warmly muttered to himself, taking another bite of his sushi. "I-I was worried."

"You don't have to worry about us," Shizuo soothed from his seat, reaching over to move some loose strands of hair out of the raven's eyes. The notion made Izaya look up at him, taking another bite of the sushi. "We'll be fine, just concentrate on feeling better, 'kay?" Izaya nodded, chewing on his piece of ootoro in silence.

Dinner ended about five minutes later, and Izaya was starting to have a hard time staying awake. He managed to eat a little more then half of his ootoro, unable to eat another bite. Yet, he continued to shovel the fish in his mouth, his smile and joy disappearing.

"You know, you don't have to eat all of it," Shinra reassured him, noticing his happiness slip. It made Izaya look up at the doctor in shock, his chopsticks lowering to the plate.

"Wha-what?" He asked, seeming completely shocked, just like when they had asked him what he wanted.

"If you're full, don't force yourself to eat more silly." Izaya looked down at the plate, then back up at him, eyes watering a bit. Shizuo watched him closely, getting ready to begin petting him again.

"Y-you won't... get mad?"

"What?" Shinra laughed, appalled. "Mad for you being full? Of course not." The raven looked back at his plate, seeing the fish still there. He didn't seem to know what to do, he was confused. Shizuo stood from his seat, as he finished his, and went over to Izaya's plate.

"We can save it for later, no biggie."

Shinra nodded, "We're just happy you were able to eat something." Izaya watched as Shizuo picked up the plate and over to the sink. He scrapped the fish into a plastic container, sealing it with a lid.

"I'll keep this out for you to put your sushi in it," Shizuo carelessly told Shinra, going back over to Izaya's side. "Ready for bed?" Izaya looked over at Shinra, bowing in his seat.

"Th-thanks, for the meal, a-and the room, a-and for everything." Shinra's face seemed to melt, his face red as Izaya was too freakin adorable.

"It's no problem, right Celty?" Celty nodded giving the little boy a thumps up. Izaya opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. They wanted to ask what it was, but he just leaned on Shizuo's arm, yawning tiredly. They had to remember he was still a healing patient.

"Lets go." Shizuo carried Izaya back to his room and helped him brush his teeth. Izaya was able to do it himself, which he seemed happy for, then Shizuo carried him to his bed.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya called, as the blond was tucking him in.

"Yeah?" He asked back, sitting on the side of the bed, staring into Izaya's down-cast eyes. Izaya was silent for a few minutes, gazing at the door to see if it was closed. He then shifted a little bit, before sighing.

"I-is this... is this a dream?" Shizuo was shocked, hearing Izaya's voice cracking. He was at the edge of tears; a storm. Now he understood why the raven checked the door; he didn't want anyone else seeing him so scared.

"Of course not," Shizuo gently soothed, running his comforting fingers through Izaya's hair. The raven shriveled a bit, bringing his hands to his face as tears fell from his eyes. He didn't seem at all comforted, just more scared.

"I-I feel as if I fall asleep, I'll wake up, back in one of the houses, back with him, standing over me... with that smirk on his face," he sobbed, pressing his hands against his face with all his little strength. Shizuo didn't know what to do, Izaya needed to let this storm out, unless he'd never really get better. "N-none of this seems real, not even possible," his voice began squeaking a bit. "After all these years, this, just happening? Y-you rescuing me, being taken to Shinra's house, being taken care of, a-and being able to chose what I want-" his voice was caught on his sobs. "Why? Why is everyone so nice to me?" The blond stared down at the raven, his tears falling with Izaya's. He didn't know what to say to him, what he could say that would actually make sense. God, he just wanted to erase Izaya's memory of what happened to him.

"I-I'm so dirty, so filthy; insignificant. I-I sat in that cellar once, for half a year, not even able to go out for a bath or use the restroom. M-my food was thrown on the floor, and I ate it, ate it with the mice. They crawled on me, they'd bite me in my sleep, since he never gave me new cloths once I grew out of my old after the first year. It was so cold... the rats would cuddle with me against my bare-skin, but they hardly did anything. I-I got so sick my second year, I didn't think I'd make it-" he didn't even let himself finish that thought. Shizuo's fists were shaking at his sides, but he was careful not to let them draw blood. He had to be able to comfort Izaya, not scare him. "Y-yet, here I am, in this large room, with its own bathroom. There's no mice, I-I have clothing that doesn't hurt. Y-you guys let me eat at the table, l-let me chose what I wanted a-and it was fresh. I-it's warm here, y-yet I feel cold, I feel cold inside- I-I'd rather die then wake up to that again!" That was it. Shizuo couldn't take it anymore. He collapsed on the bed, pulling Izaya into his warm chest. The raven seemed frightened, as he struggled a bit; but the blond held him there, tears rolling down his cheeks like endless waterfalls.

"That... that was hell...," Shizuo sobbed, feeling Izaya slowly calming a bit at his voice. At least, he thought it was because of his voice. He was trembling, nearly uncontrollably. He didn't even know if Izaya was trembling anymore. "You should have never... been forced to endure that. I-I'm sorry, that I couldn't take you away from that-" his voice cracked, burying his face in Izaya's shoulder. He was trying to be strong, strong for Izaya, but after hearing him say he'd rather die, it killed him. It severed his heart and cut it into small pieces.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I-I was useless, I was gone. I-I can hardly even believe you're still alive, that you're with me right now. I feel like I've gone insane, and at any moment, you'll disappear in a puff of smoke, and I'd be lost again. Y-yet, I know this is real, that this is not my mind this time. Your warmth is radiating against my chest, your tears run down my skin, your frail-skin's grazing mine, your scent, though faint, i-it's still there. Your hair, it's so real, as soft as always, god I missed it. I missed you and your spirit, your presence. I missed that adorable smile and laughter that always made me smile; that made me enjoy myself for being me." Shizuo pulled Izaya even closer to him, being sure not to touch the slashes on his back. "E-even if this was a dream, I'd force them to switch our places, even if it meant me going into your body, and you, in mine." He couldn't say anything else, as his throat was swelling, tears overwhelming his being. He was completely taken by surprise when he felt tiny hands sweeping through his hair with some difficulty, and listened; that small voice speaking.

"Don't cry Shizu-chan," Izaya whispered, his small hands stroking his hair. It actually seemed to help calm him down a little bit, as he focused on Izaya's body against his, and that was all. "Don't cry... It's not your fault. It's not your fault."

"But I didn't listen to you, I could've stopped it from happening," Shizuo breathed heavily, trying his best to concentrate on the massage Izaya was giving him, the strawberry-lemon scent, and his warmth radiating against him.

"You would've been killed," Izaya quietly muttered, the raven resting his own forehead into Shizuo's shoulder. "My parents were, he wouldn't have hesitated to shoot you either." Shizuo could tell his voice went monotone, as he hated thinking about the harsh reality, where his entire family had been killed, just because his kidnapper wanted him. "It's better that you lived, I would've committed suicide if they had killed you too." Shizuo was shocked at how deep and serious Izaya's voice was now. So this was person the kidnapper turned him into. Someone who spoke wisely, yet emotionlessly. Izaya was right, they did kill the raven's parents, and if it was by gun, he would've been killed back then. His body wasn't fully resistant yet. What mattered now was that he had Izaya, and he wasn't going to let that asshole lay another finger on him.

"I would've kicked his ass, if I was a spirit you know," Shizuo dryly laughed, his trembling stopping.

"I know you would," Izaya sighed back, digging his own head against Shizuo's shoulder. "But you're right... this isn't a dream, because I can feel your warmth, your skin, and your tears. Dreams can't even delude us of that, because they're cold. But Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan's nice and warm..." Izaya trailed off with a yawn, cuddling up against him more. Shizuo smiled, unburing his head and laying his chin on Izaya's head, like he used to always do.

"You're warm too Izaya, like a small kitten... inside and out." Izaya remained silent for a few minutes, and Shizuo feared he had fallen asleep.

"Thanks... Shizu-chan..." And the two of them fell asleep, cuddled and oblivious to the outside world; for once.


	10. Chapter 10

(Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while, we had finals, then the holidays came up, and ahh it was a mess OTL I'll try uploading more frequently though! ^ ^ Also thank you guys so much for your reviews, they mean the world to me and keep me writing! ^ ^ THANK YOU ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE)

"Oh, I think they're finally waking up," Shinra's voice muffely drifted to Shizuo's ears, making the blond stir from his slumber. He wanted to punch Shinra's annoying butt already, and the day just started! He hated being woken-up before he did so himself. Then again, most people did. And considering he was awoken from a very peaceful sleep, he really considered punching the doctor right now. But as he moved to get it, he stopped instantly, feeling a small, warm body against his. Ah, that's right. He fell asleep with Izaya. He actually got to cuddle with Izaya! His dream really wasn't a dream after all!

_'I knew it couldn't have been,'_ he smiled, gazing down at the raven's slumbering face to see his small hands clinging to his shirt. It made a blush bleach his face, not knowing how to control himself. Izaya went from being scared of everyone touching him to clinging to Shizuo willingly. That was a huge step up, Shizuo couldn't even describe how happy he felt at the moment.

"Neeee, what do you wantttt," Shizuo whined in a whisper, trying not to wake Izaya up. But it seemed inevitable, as the raven began stirring against his chest. The blond instantly shot a glare over at the doctor, who, like always, didn't seem to notice.

"Izaya's inhaler came in, we need to give him a spray to see if it's a strong enough prescription." Shizuo didn't even know there were other prescription types for inhalers, but didn't want to start doubting Shinra. Shinra was the doctor, not Shizuo. "They have a higher dose and one lower, just in-case this one doesn't work. But they have to leave in a few minutes and need to know." The doctor slowly went to the bedside where Izaya's back was facing. He didn't seem to want to be near Shizuo, so he must've seen the glare the blond had cast after all. "Is he awake?"

Shizuo really didn't want to wake his baby boy, but this would really help him. He didn't want to, but he'd have to be the bad guy. The blond didn't want to be helpless again when Izaya started having another really bad asthma attack. That would kill another part of him.

Sighing in utter defeat, he turned his attention back to the slumbering raven. "Iziiii," he gently murmured into Izaya's ear, nudging his raven hair with his nose, or rather, his face. The raven seemed to stir a bit more, his little groans of protest breaching the surface of his throat. It made Shizuo smirk, finding the sound adorable. Wait no, Izaya was the his definition of adorable.

"Iziii, come on Flea, gotta get up, at least for a few minutes." Slowly but surely, Izaya's eyes began opening, his small fists grasping Shizuo's shirt as if he had lost hold of it a long time ago. "Morning Izaya, sorry to wake you," he frowned, gently kissing his forehead.

"Shi-Shizu-chan's still here...?" He asked in a rather shocked voice. It made Shizuo snuggle the raven's hair again, making Izaya giggle a bit.

"St-stop, that tickles," he giggled tiredly, but showed no intentions of letting go of Shizuo just yet. The blond smirked at this, determined to make him so ticklish he'd have to let go.

"What if I want to tickle you, hm~?" Izaya didn't even get time to process the question and meaning behind it as Shizuo snuggled him again, bringing more laughter to Izaya's mouth.

"St-stop, Shizu-chan!" He unconsciously pulled his body closer to the brute's, resting his head against his warm chest. Shizuo was about to make the music sound off again when Shinra cleared his throat, drawing them both out of their game. Izaya's face immediately blushed over to a tomato, not even knowing that Shinra was there in the first place.

"Sorry to bother you Izaya," Shinra apologized, acting like he hadn't just seen the little tickle competition the two were just holding. It was for the better, as Izaya hoped and rather believed Shinra saw nothing. God-dammit, Shizuo was going to give that doctor a lecture later.

"We received your inhaler today, we just need to see if the prescription's high enough." To their shock, Izaya rather quickly unburied his head from Shizuo's chest, turning his head to gaze over at Shinra. His eyes were wide, yet pleading at the same time.

"I-inhaler? Y-you guys got me an inhaler?" Shinra was a bit shocked seeing the rather happy look on Izaya's face, but quickly let himself smile for the teen's sake.

"Of course, your case of asthma is severe, anything can set it off. Which is why we have to be sure we have the right prescription before we stock-up." Slowly, Izaya detached himself from Shizuo, crawling over to the side of the bed where Shinra was standing. The two of them were shocked. Izaya willingly went up to Shinra, he's never done that to anyone but Shizuo.

"I-I can use it? When I can't breath?"

"Uh, of course, that's what an inhaler's for," Shinra nervously smiled, handing the small device to the raven. He carefully held it in his hands, as if it were a delicate piece of glass that could break even at the slightest bit of miss-handling.

Shizuo slowly sat up, still feeling where the raven had been laying only moments ago. He could swear he could still feel Izaya's small fingers clenching his shirt, his chest up against his own, and his head buried in his shoulder. His warmth was still there, making him miss him when he was only a few inches in-front of him. God, just remembering how lonely he had been before finding him again... Shizuo didn't know how he ever lived like that. - Well, obviously without his memory, but that also showed just how hurt he had been.

Ahh, now he needed a little pick-me-up, and nothing was better then milk. Maybe he would get some for Izaya too, milk was supposed to be good for the bones. Izaya didn't even look like he had functioning bones at the moment, he was literally a walking skeleton.

_'Milk, need to get him milk,' _he repeated to himself, carefully sliding one of his legs out of bed.

"NOOO!" Izaya suddenly whipped around, slipping on the blanket as he turned and falling forward. Shizuo quickly reached out, catching Izaya in his arms. He didn't even get a chance to open his mouth when Izaya began clinging to him for dear life, clenching his long sleeves.

"Please don't leave me!" The raven cried, his body beginning to tremble a bit, most likely due to the pain he probably just triggered. Shizuo wanted to mentally stab himself, so at least he'd be able to feel some pain with Izaya. He didn't mean to scare him like that – Shizuo would never leave his little Izaya!

- Well, to get milk yes, but that was to help both of them! Ahhh. It wasn't like he was going to just get up and leave Izaya all alone for more then three minutes... Did Izaya think he would leave him like this? Was he afraid Shizuo would just get up and leave one day?

Slowly, he leaned down, wiping the stray tears from Izaya's pale-cheeks with his index finger. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere," he said in the soothing voice, running his fingers through Izaya's hair. He wanted to go get some milk, but after the little outburst, he couldn't find it within himself to part from Izaya. The milk wasn't going anywhere, he would just wait until they ate. "I wouldn't leave without you. " The raven slowly felt himself beginning to calm a bit, leaning into the hand like always.

"Now go ahead, try your inhaler," he ordered, hesitantly pulling his hand back. Izaya nodded with those dreamy eyes, sitting up with the help of the blond.

"He was forced to get me one of these..." Izaya began, a frown enveloping his face. Shizuo immediately began massaging his hair once again, trying to numb the memories. "He'd tease me with it, when I couldn't breath... only when I passed out from the lack of air would he even spray a drop in my throat." Izaya held the small machine up, marveling it like it was gold.

"You use it whenever you can't breath," Shinra made sure Izaya understood, his voice being stern. "I mean it. As soon as your breathing gets rapid, use it. It may just save your life." The raven's twinkling eyes nodded, bringing it up to his mouth and spraying some. Izaya seemed to choke and splutter a bit, grasping Shizuo's hand and squeezing it for comfort. But in less then a minute, Izaya's eyes widened, tears falling down his cheeks like small rivers.

"I-I can breath," Izaya cried. "I can breath Shizu-chan!" Shizuo warmly smiled, giving him another kiss on his forehead.

"I'm glad."

"Is your throat burning, itchy, dry? Anything feel weird?" Shinra asked, studying the raven closely. Izaya thought for a few minutes, but ultimately shook his head.

"I-I feel... normal for once." His flabbergasted smile wavering a bit, his face contorting in disbelief. "I-is it okay to be normal?"

"Yes, normal is very good," Shizuo reassured the raven, handing the inhaler back to Shinra. "He will be able to carry that around with him, right?"

"Yes, I just need to bring the code back to the service agents so they can fill out the forms and leave a few crates of inhaler medicine here." Shizuo didn't understand why they needed so many crates, but once again, he didn't want to question the doctor, so he nodded, pretending to understand. "You can rest more if you want Izaya, Celty's ready to make you food whenever. - Oh, do you need any pain medicine?" Izaya looked up at Shizuo, as if wanted to ask if he was hungry, but no words traveled out of the eighteen year-old's mouth. He just leaned against the blond, a small smile playing on his lips.

"N-not that much pain right now, j-just a small tummy ache because of the medicine last night..." he tiredly spoke. Shizuo slowly wrapped an arm around his waist, being sure to bring warmth to the his tummy. Izaya hadn't thrown-up yet, and hopefully Shizuo could help keep it that way. Even when Izaya was little, whenever his stomach was cold, it hurt so bad. The blonde never really understood, and still didn't, but never complained.

"Okay, I'll come back later to apply the medicine to your wounds. Rest well!"

Surprisingly, Izaya slept for half the day, curled up into Shizuo's chest. Not like the blond minded, he missed being this close to his raven, but he was just shocked. He hadn't slept this much since they left the hospital.

Was something wrong? Izaya didn't feel like he was running a fever, not that Shizuo could tell in any case. Was something else wrong, that he and Shinra didn't know about? What if he was in some kind of pain, and they were doing nothing to help him?! Ugh, just sitting around and waiting was so stressful, Shizuo didn't know how he could continue to do this. He just wanted Izaya to be happy again, with no pain.

"Rest is good for the body Shizuo," Shinra continued to preach quietly at the bedside, looking into a foreign bottle of pills. Shizuo had never seen them before, and neither had Shinra, obviously. He had gone to work five hours ago and came back with those. The pills were rather big and colorful, being three colors, blue, red and white. They sort of resembled extra strength Tylenol, but Izaya already had different pain killers. "Sometimes rest heals wounds faster then medicine."

"Oh," Shizuo plainly sighed, taking a deep breath of relief. At least he knew the rest was a good thing, at least. But the mysterious bottle still bothered him. "What's that you're holding?" The blonde asked. For some reason, he wanted to snatch those pills away from Shinra and throw them out the window. He didn't know why, but he just wanted too. It probably had something to do with the fact that they were giving Izaya so much medicine already, anymore would make him feel drugged-up.

"These are the pills the Psychiatrist prescribed to Izaya," Shinra replied in a rather monotone voice. The answer made Shizuo twitch. He didn't trust that bastard one bit. Izaya had been so scared of him, that meant he had to be bad, right? Though, if it wasn't the counselor, who could it be? It had to be one of his allies, they swarmed the downstairs on the day of his 'big release'.

- Oh god, that man wanted Shizuo to leave the room. What if he hadn't been able to go in at all – What would he have done to Izaya then? What if the blonde was forbidden from entering the room like everyone else, who would have protected Izaya from that man? He was so cruel to Izaya, making him cry and shrivel up against his arm. Just thinking about the possibilities made Shizuo's stomach churn, nearly throwing up. He probably would have too if he wasn't cradling the raven.

"Throw them away," the brute hissed, pulling Izaya closer to his body as if he was a mother being threatened to lose her child. That comparison was close enough, because it was hard losing a child, but it would be lethal to the brute.

Shinra just sighed, pushing his glasses up the ridge of his nose. "I don't want to give them to him either, he seems to be doing fine. But we need a valid reason why." A valid reason why? That meant there was a way to get Izaya out of needing to take the pills? Shizuo was definitely all for that. "- Hmmm, that's it!" The young doctor smirked to himself, jiggling the pills in the bottle. "If he does well through the night, we can probably make the excuse that he's become 'sound of mind', due to the fact that he's been staying with friends."

Shizuo raised a confused eyebrow. How was Izaya sleeping through the night going to help prevent him from taking pills? He was sleeping at the hospital. Maybe not all through the night, but he was still sleeping, with Shizuo at his side. He was his friend. "How does this make any difference? He was sleeping at the hospital."

That smug grin suddenly crossed Shinra's face, that grin that always meant the bubbling doctor was excited to share information. Ahhh, if only he had known he would've kept his mouth shut. "Nightmares can be seen as someone who has an unstable mind, and in Izaya's case, that could mean he may have a cause of insanity. Since he's showing no other signs of mental-illness, going through a few nights without nightmares proves that he's just fine."

Shizuo couldn't help but smile at the sudden realization. This was going to be the second night out of the hospital, they would still need one more to prove he was free of mental-illness. But he wasn't going to give up hope. "Two more nights, you mean." Shinra looked over at Shizuo, a bit confused as he thought to himself for a moment. Sometimes the doctor's days all blended together, he was always a busy person. Shizuo couldn't blame him, sometimes the days never seemed to end.

"Oh right, I thought this was the third day already." Shizuo couldn't help but frown at the doctor's statement. How did it feel like the third day already? The days never seemed to end, as if they were in a never ending chapter book that took place all in the same day. For all he knew, his mind created this chapter book he was now in, as a form of punishment for not helping Izaya sooner.

"Well, I better propose this to the hospital so they can run it by the people in charge of Izaya's case, and the psychiatrist."

"Wait, people in charge of Izaya's case?" Shizuo couldn't help but ask, stunned. There were people who were trying to help capture Izaya's kidnapper? Of course the police would be trying to find the counselor, but a whole team?

Shinra's face seemed to darken a bit, glasses darkening to the point where Shizuo couldn't even see his eyes anymore. Oh no... this couldn't be good news. Shinra looked so angry, so frustrated, so guilty. To be honest, Shizuo didn't know if he wanted to hear this or not.

"Can you, come with me for a moment, Shizuo?" The blonde gulped, as Shinra's voice was stern and cold. It was as if someone had just murdered Celty, which wasn't possible. Shizuo could feel the blood slowly freezing over. He didn't want to hear whatever Shinra had to say. He didn't want anything to do with what Shinra wanted to say. But he didn't have much of a choice, as the doctor got up from his stool and waited by the doorway. Shit. Shizuo really didn't want to know, especially if he wanted to tell him away from Izaya.

Hesitantly, he leaned down to the raven's ear, who was slowly stirring from his sleep unwillingly. Shizuo didn't mean to keep Izaya awake by talking to Shinra, it just, sort of happened.

"I'll be right back, okay Izi?" Shizuo gently whispered into Izaya's ear. The raven seemed to awaken a little more, but not opening his eyes. "Shinra needs to talk to me. But I swear I'll come right back to you."

Izaya's body seemed to stiffen at the words, those deep-tired eyes suddenly staring into Shizuo's mocha eyes. It was obvious the raven didn't want him to go, but he knew he didn't have much of a choice. "Ottaaayy..." Izaya mumbled, mispronouncing the word. God, he was just so adorable, he could nearly melt away all his worries; almost.

"I'll be right back," Shizuo promised, slowly untangling himself from the small raven. Izaya seemed to shiver with the cold as he lost his Shizu-chan, and the blonde felt a little bad. Whatever Shinra had to say better be good.

Pulling up the covers closer to Izaya, he softly kissed his forehead before following Shinra out of the room. They went past the kitchen, past the living room, and out on the balcony. Shizuo was completely appalled. Why do they have to be so far from Izaya? What if something happened to him while they were out here?

Shinra took in a deep breath, as he stared out at the city below them. "Izaya wasn't Aion's first victim."

Everything seemed to stop functioning in Shizuo's body, his heart, his blood flow, everything. He couldn't hear, and he couldn't even see Shinra or anything else move at all, as if a still image was forever burned in his eyes. Izaya wasn't, his first victim...?

What?

How, what-?

Who else-

What? He couldn't think straight. No coherent thoughts ran through his mind, he was in complete shock, complete denial. If Izaya wasn't his first victim, what did that mean? That he got away with this before, and no one has caught him yet!?

"There were around seventeen more children in that house... all of them dead-"

No.

"Six of them were buried in his backyard-"

No.

"A half-rotten corpse was found in the basement where you found Izaya-"

No.

"Small bones were found in the kitchen pluming system-"

No.

"Two sets of child-sized skeletons were found at the bottom of his outside pool-"

No.

"One under Aion's bed-"

No.

"Four scattered in the walls with his fingerprints-"

No.

"And one buried in the walls with Izaya's prints on the plaster-"

NO.

N.O. This, had to be false information, right? They had investigated the wrong house- yes, that's what happened. Why would he need all those children when he had Izaya – Wait, WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING?! What was happening to him? His thoughts, they all slammed against each other, making his mind pound into a serious headache of confusion. He didn't even know when he started ripping out his hair, or when his stomach started churning, or when he started to heave-over. He didn't even realize when Shinra stood there, watching him, and when he finally went to his side and tried to calm him down. All he could concentrate on was his thoughts, and all the possible scenarios that played through his mind.

Izaya being forced to watch someone else who had been kidnapped be beaten to death.

Being forced to starve and suffer with another child, and watching him stop moving one day.

Being forced to just stand there and help Aion kill one of them.

Being forced to help Aion bury them.

Being forced to bury some himself.

Being forced to endure that pain, that physical and mental pain. Shizuo felt like he was there, watching it, watching Izaya as he slowly grew emotionless and insane.

And it was all his fault.

"Brother, you there?" A voice slowly began pulling him out of his disillusion thoughts. It was a voice of reason he forgot to listen to a long time ago.

"Ka-Kasuka?" Shizuo questioned, his voice full of uncertain emotions.

"Brother, you alright?" That was definitely Kasuka's voice, but wait, where was he and how long was he there for? Slowly, his eye-sight returned to normal, but his brother was still nowhere. - Wait, was that, throw-up he was sitting in? It was his, wasn't it? His throat was burning a bit, along with his nose. He smelled awful, and he could swear someone had tried yanking his hair out- Oh wait, he could feel multiple strands in his hands right now. Did he, do this to himself...?

"I-I," Shizuo stuttered, not sure how to answer that. He didn't want to worry his brother, but at the same time, he was pretty sure he knew. There was this rare sting of emotion in the back of his brother's voice that was hardly there at all. That was enough to make him realize there was a phone pressed to his ear by Shinra; he didn't look so well either...

"I am now, thanks to you and Shinra," he honestly sighed, taking-in a shaky breath. "S-sorry for scaring you."

"It's fine, as long as you're alright." Wow, Kasuka must be really worried about him if he was showing this much emotion. Then again, after what he had to watch Shizuo go through after Izaya was taken, he couldn't blame him. "I heard you found Izaya."

Found him- Yes, yes they did. Izaya was just fine, half-asleep in his own room, patiently waiting for Shizuo to return. He was safe and sound, where Aion wasn't able to touch him anymore. Shizuo needed to remember that. "Yeah, I did. And he even remembers me."

"I'm glad brother. - Actually, do you mind if I come down to visit sometime? We just finished filming one of the major parts and are able to take a break. - Of course, I'll come without telling anyone else." Was Shizuo hearing him right? His brother wanted to come down to visit? He hasn't seen him in a good year!

"Sure!" A small smile began creeping on Shizuo's face. Now he was really excited. Being able to see his brother would be just like the old times, and maybe, just maybe he would even make those pancakes Izaya loves.

"Well I better go, time to finish some of my voice overs. Talk to you later brother."

"Bye," Shizuo smiled one last time before Shinra took the phone away from him. His brother was going to come down here, ahh he couldn't wait to tell Izaya! Wait-

-Izaya! He was supposed to be back soon. But how could he go back all covered in his own puke? What was wrong with him? He was stronger then this! He was Shizuo Heiwajima, the brute of Ikebukuro, he shouldn't be reduced to this!

-And yet he had been. Huh...

"You can use my shower," Shinra couldn't help but smile gently at Shizuo, as if reading his thoughts. "I'll leave you a new pair of cloths on my bed. Celty and I will distract him." Shizuo wanted to retaliate, but he honestly didn't have any other choices. He wanted to be with Izaya so much, but he couldn't like this. Guess this is what happens when you keep everything in for too long...

Shinra quickly escorted Shizuo into his room, turning on the shower for him and going through the small suitcase Celty brought from Shizuo's house yesterday. It was full of his bartender outfits and assorted pajamas, even his toothbrush. He'd be sure to thank her later.

Jumping in the shower, he rubbed the shampoo and conditioner in his hair at the same time. He himself hadn't had a shower in a while, so he might as well get this part over with. He then grabbed the strawberry-lemon scented body wash and scrubbed his body to the bone. There was no way Shizuo was going to let Izaya even smell a hint of puke on him at all. The raven didn't need to worry about his welfare, he needed to focus on getting better.

When Shizuo was sure all the signs of puke was gone, he wasted no time jumping out of the shower. Normally he didn't bother using a towel on himself, but he didn't want to be hugging Izaya half wet, which also meant he would have to dry his hair.

Dammit, this was never easy, was it- Wait, he could still smell the horrible stench. - Of course, he needed to scrub his mouth to the bone as well. The world never took it easy on him, did it? Of course not.

It was a good fifteen minutes later when Shizuo was finally fully dried and rid of the puke smell in his mouth. A full fifteen minutes. Man, and he thought girls took long showers. He was going to smother Izaya with cuddles when he got to him.

Running down the hall, he came up to Izaya's room and spun in, only to have his heart stop once again. Shinra and Celty were desperately hovering over Izaya, the bumbling doctor holding a flashlight up to the raven's eyes, while Celty held and stroked Izaya's hand in soothing circles that didn't seem to be calming the raven down at all. Izaya was trembling really bad, and his breathing was completely uneven. It literally mirrored the state he had been the day the found him.

Without wasting another second, he slid over to Izaya's side, gently grasping the raven's free hand like fragile glass. The sudden contact made Izaya squeal in complete terror. It sounded as if his stomach was being cut open as he desperately, though weakly, tried pulling his hand free from the brute's grip. Shizuo was so shocked by the rejection, he released his grip. Izaya... didn't realize it was him? The person he was waiting for only a few moments ago?

Why? Why was this happening? He had been so happy before. He was laughing, smiling, enjoying himself a bit. It was the first night Izaya slept without nightmares, the first night where he didn't have to worry about being found again. So why did this have to happen? Why was some entity out there so bent on ripping the happiness away from the raven?

"What happened?!" Shizuo finally managed to find his voice, taking deep breaths. He wanted to be furious at the doctor for not getting him sooner. Shizuo had taken at least an hour-long shower!Shinra should have told him what state Izaya was in! - Though, even he could see through his blinding worry the reason for keeping him in the dark. The body-guard wouldn't have been able to do anything to help Izaya, especially if he still smelled like puke. There was no reason to get him, if he couldn't help. Shinra had done the right thing, even though it pained Shizuo.

Shinra ignored him at first, continuing to shine the flashlight in Izaya's eyes. He was holding up one figure that followed the light, trying desperately to get Izaya to follow the light and his finger. It was obvious that Izaya wasn't listening. "We came in here and he was on the floor like this." Shizuo quickly looked over to the side where Celty was, only now noticing all the pills and shattered glass cup on the ground. The brown-wooden table was knocked on its side as well, which meant Izaya probably tried grabbing a hold of it for support when he fell over. This was all Shizuo's fault. Izaya probably went to go look for him, for taking so long, but just couldn't walk on his own. DAMMITT!

"Did you give him any medicine?!" Shinra probably already did, but Shizuo just wanted to talk. It seemed like the only thing that would help him keep his sanity. He wasn't going to be able to do anything to help, again. Again! He was rendered useless and forced to watch Izaya suffer once again, not even knowing if he'd be able to make it through this in time. DAMMITT, why was he always so freaking useless when Izaya needed him the most!? He was growing so sick of himself. UGHH.

"No, I can't." Shizuo opened his mouth, about to say something else until the words finally slapped him in the face. Wait, Shinra hadn't given him medicine? What the hell was he thinking?! Izaya obviously needed it, so why hadn't he given it to him yet!?

"What the hell do you mean?! Give him that medicine you gave him last time!"

"I can't!" Shinra snapped this time. It wasn't until now that Shizuo noticed the stress and extreme worry streaming on the doctor's face and and swelling in his eyes. Shinra looked frantic, as if he was losing a patient- No, that couldn't be happening. They weren't going to lose Izaya, ever.

"What do you mean?" Shizuo gulped. He had a hunch... but he hoped he was wrong.

"It seems like he tried taking medicine when we were gone and overdosed himself." Now it was Shizuo's turn to start trembling uncontrollably. Izaya overdosed himself? How much pain had he been in to even think about giving himself medicine? There were lots of different bottles of pills, he should have waited! Why the hell did he and Shinra have to go outside to discuss- Okay he saw _why_ they had to go outside, but they should have had Celty stay with Izaya! DAMITT DAMITT DAMMITTTT!

"Isn't there something you can give him?! Anything? People go to hospitals to be cured of overdose!"

"There is never really a cure, but there might be a way to flush it out," Shinra quickly responded, fleeing from the room. Shizuo had no idea where the doctor was going, but had to believe it was for the better. Shinra knew what he was doing, he was a unlicensed doctor! Shizuo still had to do something while Shinra was gone, doing nothing was going to drive him insane.

Think. Think. Think. Last time, he was able to calm him down, eventually. At least, that's what Shinra said. Shizuo still believed it was the medicine, but he had to try something! Izaya wasn't going to make it if he didn't calm down soon.

First off, he'd have to make sure Izaya was as comfortable as he could be, which meant he couldn't be touching him. Check! Now he just needed make Celty let go of him. "Celty," Shizuo called to her. The black rider looked up at Shizuo, more so because she herself didn't know what to do. "I need you to trust me and let go of Izaya." The Dullahan seemed hesitant, as she looked over at Izaya before back up at Shizuo. She was so lost, not sure what to do. Shizuo understood, she didn't want to be useless either, no one ever wanted to be. "I can bring him back, I've done it before." The black rider looked up (or what Shizuo would assume was her looking up) before releasing the raven's hand. Just like before, the raven seemed to calm a little bit more, now that the foreign hand was away from him. Well, step one was complete. Now he needed to come up with a step two; Shizuo would have to slowly reach out to him, like last time.

"He-hey Izi," he sniffled, taking a shaky breath. "Sorry it took me so long, to come back," he apologized sincerely. "I-I had to take a shower, since I smelled pretty bad, a-and I didn't want you to be forced to smell me." Wow, that had sounded so much better in his head. Oh well, it was said, and he didn't even think about taking it back now. But Izaya didn't seem to stir out of his state much at all. Dammiitt, he needed to try harder. He didn't know how much time Izaya had left. The brute just needed to concentrate on that fact.

"It's okay Izi, it's okay...," he trailed off with his soothing voice, just like he had done in the ambulance. Reality seemed to be slowly fading away from the brute Shizuo's whole body suddenly began trembling uncontrollably, and small tears began welling in his eyes once again. Man, the strongest man of Ikebukuro, being reduced to this once again. He really was weak when it came to Izaya. "I'm here, I'm not going to let him take you r-remember? I'm here, always will be." The raven seemed to flinch a bit, as if trying to focus on Shizuo. The feat however seemed nearly impossible, but the brute was going to keep reaching out to him.

Very gently, and cautiously, Shizuo grasped Izaya's hand, giving it a tight squeeze. The raven seemed to tremble a bit more, but not as much as last time. "Just concentrate on my warmth, okay? I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you." Shizuo could feel Izaya's hand twitch, the trembling slowing a bit. Was he, remembering? His face was cringed to a rather sour look, but determination was flowing through his veins. "As long as we feel each others warmth, we'll always be real, remember?" Once more, he cautiously crawled a little closer to Izaya, running a hand through the silky, black hair. In response, Izaya seemed to shiver, not tremble this time; Shizuo of course knew the difference.

"Concentrate on my warmth... Concentrate..." Very gradually, Izaya's trembles were slowing to the point where it seemed like he was just a bit cold. Honestly, the blonde thought this was going to be the calmest Izaya was going to get, and that was okay with him. At least he was able to help sooth his little raven.

"There you go," Shizuo couldn't help but give a small smile, leaning down and pressing his lips softly against Izaya's forehead. Maybe Shinra had been right, maybe Shizuo was the one that calmed him down, and not the medicine after all...

The sounds of metal and plastic banging against each other suddenly filled Shizuo's ears, making the brute look up from the raven. What did he get, a vacuum?!

"Someone please find his vein while I set this up," Shinra ordered, coming up to the door frame. Shizuo could now make out the equipment, which consisted of a large metal stand with a small IV bag on it. Oh duh, why didn't the blonde think about an IV in the first place, of course that was the only way to flush out the medicine. Izaya seemed to realize this as well, looking weary-eyed at Shizuo.

"I know I know, shots aren't fun," Shizuo frowned. He knew Izaya hated needles, and this one would have to stay in him, just like the hospital. "But you won't have to keep this one in for a long time, just until you're all drained-out." Izaya didn't respond, so Shizuo gently kissed his forehead. "I'll warn you."

The doctor slowly made his way over to the bed side, checking everything on the wrack to be sure it was in order. It took really no time at all to find Izaya's veins, as he was just skin and bones. Ahh, his heart must have dropped in his chest, he felt heavy.

Rubbing alcohol on his arm, Shinra got the needle ready, determined to stick him right the first time. "Ready?" The blonde quickly returned back to his position from early, petting his hair gently as Shinra began the countdown. It pained Shizuo so much, feeling the raven cringe and stiffen-up beneath him. Dammitt, he couldn't do anything to sooth him could he? "One, two, and-" Izaya suddenly squeezed Shizuo's hand as the doctor injected the Iv, not even seeming to do it consciously.

"There we go, all done," Shinra smiled with a glimmer of hope. But Izaya's small and weak whimpers drew him out of their hopeful moment. His eyes were completely closed, his head tossing and turning ever so slightly, but still in pain. His grip on Shizuo hadn't failed, and the amount of strength he had at the moment was unbelievable.

"You should start feeling better in three hours, at least." Izaya once again didn't respond, but they completely understood. He didn't have to, he just needed to rest.

"Good," Shizuo smiled to himself, pulling his body closer to Izaya's, but being sure to keep a distance. He didn't want to hurt him, as his body would be in obvious pain. And tugging on his Iv on accident...

The day past by rather slowly after that. Shinra and Celty finally finished cleaning up all the pills and were now cleaning them off. There was at least four hundred dollars worth of pills in that mess, and Shinra was definitely not going to waste it. Shizuo didn't even have to worry about him not cleaning them all the way though, because the doctor was so paranoid about that.

"Shi... Shizu-chan...?" Izaya's small voice suddenly filled his ears, snapping the blonde out of his thoughts instantly. The raven had been sleeping the past few hours, not waking up in for any sound in the world. And as he looked over at Shizuo, the blonde could see his sparkling red eyes held less pain in them then earlier, and a small, but still a smile decorated him lips. That's what Shizuo liked to see.

"Yeah?" He asked, smiling himself.

"Thank you, for coming back to me..." Shizuo was completely taken aback for a moment, not wanting to believe what the raven had just said. He'd always come back to Izaya, no matter what. Then again, he kind of failed to prove that.

But next time, he was going to be determined to prove it to him. couldn't help but pull the raven closer to his body, but being sure he wasn't going to mess with the iv.

"I'll always be right here, right at your side..."


End file.
